2013-4-10 第七讲 商务英语学位考试 写作 王 云 上海交通大学继续教育学院.

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1 第七讲 商务英语学位考试 写作 王 云 上海交通大学继续教育学院

2 根据所给的题目写50词左右的便条、留言、短信 等， 要求做到格式正确，语言得体。 （b）大作文（15分）:议论文。
第七讲 六、写作 （20分） （a）小作文（5分）: 应用文。 根据所给的题目写50词左右的便条、留言、短信 等， 要求做到格式正确，语言得体。 （b）大作文（15分）:议论文。 根据所给的题目和列出的写作提纲或图表、数字统计表等(也附有写作提纲) 写一篇200词的短文，要求内容切题、完整，条理清楚，文章结构严谨，语法正确，语言通顺恰当。

3 感谢信/道歉信 Letter of thanks/apology 邀请函 Invitation letter
第七讲 小作文 便条 Note 通知 Notice 信函 Letter 普通信函 感谢信/道歉信 Letter of thanks/apology 邀请函 Invitation letter 商务信函 Business communications

4 3.日期写在正文右上方，也可写在署名下一行，即右下角。可以写上年月日，或星期几（上午/下午）。
第七讲 便条 包括留言、请假条、收条、欠条等 1.题目可省 2.称呼语写在左边顶格 3.日期写在正文右上方，也可写在署名下一行，即右下角。可以写上年月日，或星期几（上午/下午）。

5 4.形式和内容简洁，语言通俗、简单、直接 5.署名写在正文的右下角。 注：一定要说清楚写给谁的、什么事、谁写的以及什么时候写的。
第七讲 4.形式和内容简洁，语言通俗、简单、直接 5.署名写在正文的右下角。 注：一定要说清楚写给谁的、什么事、谁写的以及什么时候写的。

6 第七讲 例1 (leave a message) NOTE May 5, 2004 Lucy, You happened to be out when I called you. I have something important to discuss with you. Please call me when you are back. Susan （May 5, 2004）

7 第七讲 例2 (ask for sick leave) March 5, 2004 Dear Mr. Lin, I feel sorry that I shall be unable to attend this morning’s two periods of English class because of a bad cold and high fever. Enclosed is a certificate from the doctor who said I must stay in bed for a few days. I will go back to school as soon as I recover. Yours sincerely, Susan

8 第七讲 A Receipt May 5, 2004 Received from Ms. Liu Huixin of the English Department the following items: One tape-recorder Ten cassette tapes Li Lei

9 第七讲 I owe you form An I.O.U. Form Sept.5, 2004 Borrowed from Mr. Wang Hao one hundred yuan. I promise to pay the sum of money within one month. Li Wei

10 第七讲 通知 1. 上方居中写NOTICE或Notice。 2. 正文的左下角或右下角写出通知的单位或人名。 3. 发出通知的时间写在正文的左下角，也可按书信格式写正文的右上角。

11 第七讲 Notice （May 4, 2005） All the students are requested to meet in the meeting hall on Friday(May,7) at 2:00p.m. to listen to a talk by the visiting professor, Mr. Adam Black. The Department Office May 4, 2005

12 第七讲 NOTICE Date: December 12th, 2005 To: All staff From: Head office Subject: Financial program of the company 注：time, place, subject, participant

13 第七讲 书信 1.信头指写信人的地址和写信日期，位于信的右上角。 顺序：第一行写门牌号码、路名； 第二行写市（县）、省（州、郡）名，寄往国外的信要加国名； 第三行写寄信日期

14 第七讲 2.收信人的地址位于左上角，略低于写信日期 3.称呼低于收信人地址，左边顶格写起 4.正文开头空几格，不用写“你好” 5.结束语位于正文的下一行右边 6.签名在结束语的下一行，除了对熟悉的人和亲密的人之外，签名必须要写全名。

15 第七讲 No.236 Xuefu Road Beijing, China March 20, Monkey Road Los Angles, America Dear Sir, I got my plane ticket this morning. I will fly to New York next Monday. I’m very excited! I can hardly wait to see you. Yours, Han Meimei

16 第七讲 注： 1.如果不知道收信人的名字，可以写上 Dear Sir/Dear Madam/To whomever it may concern 2.结束语 商业信函：Sincerely yours, Yours truly, Yours sincerely 私人信函：Yours, Sincerely, With love, Sincerely yours, Yours truly, Yours sincerely

17 第七讲 感谢信 要求： 对对方给与的款待、礼物或帮助等表示由衷的感谢。 用简洁的语言赞赏对方提供的帮助所起到的作用，或所收到的礼物的可爱之处及其用途。 再次表示衷心的感谢，希望有朝一日能够回报。

18 第七讲 February 16, 2006 Dear Lucy, I’m writing this letter to thank you for your warm hospitality during my visit to your country. I enjoyed and appreciated all your kindness to me. I hope that you will pay a short visit to China and I may have the pleasure of seeing you in my home. Thank you again for your friendly warmth. Sincerely yours, Sally

19 第七讲 常用语 1. I want to express my appreciate to you for your help. 2. I’m thankful to you for your beautiful gift. 3. Thank you so much for your warm wishes/greetings. 4. The beautiful… you gave me is just what I want/need. 5. I really appreciate your hospitality. 6. I will remember your kindness with gratitude.

20 第七讲 道歉信 格式与感谢信相同，下面是一些常用语： 1. I really apologize for that. 2. You must forgive me. 3. It’s all my fault. 4. I do apologize for all that I’ve done. 5. How careless/forgetful of me! 6. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. 7. I really didn’t mean that.

21 第七讲 April 4, 2005 Dear Mary, I am very sorry that we won’t attend your birthday party on Saturday because my wife is ill. I am sorry that I must disappoint you, but I am confident that you will fully understand us. Yours sincerely Michael

22 第七讲 邀请函 邀请函中通常包括下面几项内容： 1.邀请函发出的单位、组织或个人 2.活动的时间、地点 3.活动内容和日程安排 4.要求被邀请人回复

23 第七讲 May 18, 2005 Dear Prof. Wang, The English Department of Dalian University of Technology would like to invite you to be our guest speaker at our monthly discussion to be held at the Multi-functioning Hall at 8 o’clock, Friday morning, May 23rd,2005. We would be glad if you could attend. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Zhang Hui

24 第七讲 1.It is with great pleasure that I inform you… 2.Are you free for dinner on Monday, Sept.19,2005? 3.Do let me know if you can come. 4.We will be expecting you at 6 o’clock. Don’t disappoint us.

25 第七讲 接受邀请 Dear Jessie, Thank you for your kind invitation to the dinner you are giving this Sunday for your wedding. I shall be very happy indeed to come, and look forward with pleasure to meeting you. Yours truly, Alice

26 第七讲 常用语 1.We are delighted to accept your kind invitation to… 2.We look forward with pleasure to… 3.Nothing would give me greater pleasure than accepting your invitation.

27 第七讲 拒绝邀请 Dear Jessie, I am so sorry that I can’t come to the dinner you are giving this Sunday for your wedding because of a previous engagement that day. I do appreciate your asking me and hope that I will have the opportunity to meet you in the near future. Yours truly, Alice

28 第七讲 常用语 1.I shall have to say no to your kind invitation. 2.I regret I cannot accept… 3.Please accept my sincere regrets for not being able to join… 4.I am sincerely sorry that I cannot …

29 第七讲 商务信函包括信件、电子邮件、传真等，内容包括订单、询价、报价等等。 较为正式的传真有固定的格式，格式中应包括发件人、收件人、单位名称、传真号、日期、页数、主题等，发件人在传真上签字也被看作是国际惯例。 电子邮件不要求特别正式，但为了便于联系，通常应在邮件的最后提供联系方式，如发件人的姓名、职务、所在单位、电话号码、电子邮件地址、传真号码等。

30 第七讲 询价函 (1) Dear Sir/Madam,
We are a large chain retail store specializing in sports wears for men and women. We are deeply impressed by the pure cotton trunks displayed on your stand at Guangzhou Trade Fire held last April and would like to know more about them. Could you provide such details about them as prices, discounts, delivery dates, and terms of payment? Your early reply would be appreciated. Yours faithfully, Jerry Liang

31 第七讲 报价 June 10, 2015 Dear Sir, 　 Thank you for your inquiry of June 1st concerning the Deer Mountain Bike. It gives us great pleasure to send along the technical information on the model together with the catalog and price list. After studying the prices and terms of trade, you will understand why we are working to capacity to meet the demand. We look forward to the opportunity of being of service of you. Yours faithfully, R. Smith

32 第七讲 讨价还价 Dear Sir, We have received your price lists and have studied it carefully. However, the price level in your quotation is too high for this market, If you are prepared to grant us a discount of 10% for a quantity of 200, we would agree to your offer. We hope to hear from you soon. Yours truly, John Chen

33 第七讲 正式提出订单 Dear Sir, We have discussed your offer of 5% and accept it on the terms quoted. We are prepared to give your product a trial, provided you can guarantee delivery on or before the 20th of September. The enclosed order is given strictly on this condition. We reserve the right of refusal of delivery and/or cancellation of the order after this date. Yours faithfully, R. Smith

34 第七讲 确认订单 Dear Sir, Thank you very much for your order of June 15 for 200 Deer Mountain Bikes. We will make every possible effort to speed up delivery. We will advise you of the date of dispatch. We are at your service at all times. Yours faithfully, R. Smith

35 第七讲 催款 Dear Mr. Bellon, We are writing concerning the October account for $645 which was due and should have been cleared last month. As you usually clear your account promptly, we wondered why the account was not paid. If you are experiencing any difficulties, please let me know as we may be able to help you. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Attached please find a copy of the account. Yours sincerely, T. Lane

36 第七讲 传真 To: Mr. Conrad Green Fax: Tel: From: Zheng xi Fax: Tel: Date: May 18th, 2006 Pages: 1 Subject: Invitation We would like to invite Mr. Conrad Green to attend the research conference on English study which will be held in Beijing on May 28th,2006. Yours sincerely, Zheng xi

37 第七讲 常用词汇 human resources, sales & marketing, the board, PR, finance, after-sales service, C&F (cost and freight), B/L (bill of lading), commission, wholesaler, retailer, supplier, manufacturer, agent, customer, importer, exporter, enquiry letter, request for payment, quotation, delivery date, terms of payment, purchase order, market investigation, customer complaint

38 第七讲 常用句 We would appreciate it if you could send us the information requested. Could you please send us your current catalogue and price list? Thank you very much for your order and we look forward to your next orders. Payment should be made within 7 days.

39 第七讲 Could you please quote your most competitive prices? We have always cleared our accounts promptly ever since we began trading 3 years ago. We were deeply impressed by the wide selection of your clothes. As our annual requirement in …is considerable, perhaps you would send us your catalogue and details of your sample.

40 第七讲 Please give us detailed information of … prices, discounts and terms of payment. Please let us know their prices including packing and delivery to our warehouse. We would like to mention that if your price is attractive and delivery date acceptable, we shall place a large order with you.

41 第七讲 大作文 要求根据所出的题目和列出的写作提纲或图表、数字统计表等(也附有写作提纲)写一篇200词左右的短文。 做到内容切题、完整、条理清楚，文章结构严谨，语法正确，语言通顺恰当。

42 第七讲 作文的评分标准 (1)文章内容切题、丰富，文章通顺，表达清楚。 (2)行文流畅。 　(3)组织严密，逻辑性强。 　(4)句型多样化，句法结构正确。 　(5)用词得体、恰当、丰富。 　(6)语法正确。 　(7)拼写及标点正确，书写整洁。

43 第七讲 作文的写作时间：35分钟 审题： 分钟; 列提纲：组织素材, 细节和关键词: 10分钟; 起草: 分钟; 修改定稿: 5分钟。

44 第七讲 作文的排版应该不多于2/3， 不少于1/3，要留有余地，不要将卷面写得密密麻麻。 字体不要过大或过小。字迹要工整。 基本框架为三段论。 每段开头都应该有缩进，留有两个单词的位置。

45 第七讲 写作步骤 一、审题 二、确定主题句 三、段落组织 四、修改

46 第七讲 审题材和体裁 议论文要有论点和论据 要审题目： 1.审文章的中心论点或中心主题 2.审试卷提示，即试卷上的提示性话语。

47 第七讲 三段式 The Benefits of Volunteering You are to write in three parts. In the first part, state specifically what your opinion is. In the second part, support your opinion with appropriate details. In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

48 第七讲 Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

49 第七讲 确定主题句 主题句：文章全文、或每个段落的总结观点 1.能保证作文不跑题，使作文看起来立意清晰，观点明确。 2. 主题句能帮助你制定写作思路。 （全文主题句、分论据的主题句）

50 第七讲 我们提倡每段、以及各个分论据都应该要有一个主题句，使得段落分明，观点清晰，逻辑清楚。 态度要鲜明（建议选择相对容易的立场） 文章主题句更适宜放在第一段，根据专业四级英文写作的特点，要在第一段中即要立场鲜明地提出自己的观点。

51 第七讲 举例： The Benefits of Volunteering 第一段的主题句可以设置为： In my opinion, there are two reasons to volunteer: feel good about yourself while helping others; build your portfolio.

52 第七讲 第二段的分论据的主题句可设置为： 2、On one hand, volunteering makes you feel good about yourself on a purely selfish level. 3、On the other hand, from a professional standpoint, volunteer is a great way to add to your portfolio. 最后结尾段的主题句： 4、So it is time for you to participate in more volunteer work to help others as well as help yourselves.

53 第七讲 组织段落 段落的组织主要是通过扩展句对主题句的支持或说明来进行的。 常见的段落展开方法有列举、举例、比较和对比、因果、叙述、归类、下定义等。

54 第七讲 E.g. Nowadays the Internet has become part of people’s life , and million of young people have made friends online. Write on ANSWER SHEET TWO a composition of about 200 words on the following topic: Is It Wise to Make Friends Online

55 第七讲 You are to write in three parts. In the first part, state specifically what your opinion is.In the second part, support your opinion with one or two reasons. In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

56 第七讲 第一段：开点明现象，引出问题， 描述当今网上交友的普遍性。提出自己的观点，赞成网络交友还是反对网络交友。 建议句式：It is an undeniable fact that…；It is widely/ generally/ universally held/ believed that…等。

57 第七讲 Is It Wise to Make Friends Online? Making friends online has increasingly grown in popularity in the last years and now and then we hear some appalling stories of disasters as a result of it. As far as I am concerned, it is wise / not wise to make friends online as there are potential dangers to it.

58 第七讲 第二段：阐述问题，具体地阐述你赞成或反对网络交友的理由。 每个论据的论证由三部分组成： 主题句+扩展句+结论句。 主题句要有高度的扩展性。 扩展句是对主题句进一步阐述或说明的句子，可以运用举例说明、比较对比法、因果法、类比法、分类法等展开说明，两到三句即可。 结论句是对段落进行总结的句子，可以采用重申主题、提出解决问题的方案或呼吁号召等方式。

59 第七讲 First of all, Some people's dependence on online relationship can build up a risk of having potential psychological problems. （主题句）People can be easily attracted to online life and those who are lonely, depressed or not satisfied with their real lives can easily develop an addiction to the "perfect” online life , as they can make up life stories. Too much addiction can gradually affect one's abilities and functions in the real world. （扩展句）Gradually the addicts become isolated from others and unconcern with people or events around them（结论句）.

60 第七讲 In addition, cyber relationships have the magical power of destroying the intimate relationships between family members and friendships . Teenagers of the generation of Instant Messaging are also too keen to their online friends to care about their relation ships with their parents.

61 第七讲 结尾段：再次强调你的观点和你赞成或反对网络交友的意义。 1.承接上文，再次提及你赞成或反对网络交友的原因。 2.提出限制或赞成网络的意义 3.提出一种号召性的语言——用only by doing sth. can sb. do…做结尾，用在文章结尾表示一种号召。

62 第七讲 In conclusion, though people are finding it entertaining to make friends online ,it dose harm in several ways .Too much trust and dependence on cyber life can cause net addiction that may lead to several psychological disorders or physical problems . Moreover, relationships in real life have been affected by online relationship(反对网络交友的原因). Extreme cases indicate the most dreadful consequences caused by cyber criminals（反对网络交友的意义）. As making friends online still spreading its attractions, people need to be aware of these dangers and take proper actions to protect themselves and their life（号召）.

63 第七讲 四、连贯 一是指文章在内容上是连贯、统一的，文章中所有的句子都是为全文的中心服务的。 二指的是表达上的连贯。文章的段落之间、段落中各句子之间要有一定的衔接。段落结构和句与句之间的衔接应遵照一定的顺序。段落之间的连接也应符合逻辑。这样使文章连贯紧凑，自然流畅，层次分明，脉络清晰。

64 第七讲 获取连贯主要有三种方法： 一是内容上的连贯， 二是使用代词或有意地重复一些词， 三是使用关联词语。

65 第七讲 代词的使用 On the one hand, private schools can meet the special needs of the society or the particular requirements of people. On the other hand, they often bring people extra burden because of comparison and competition.

66 第七讲 When asked to decide whether we should have a society without private schools or a society with private schools, I will not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.

67 第七讲 关联词的使用（部分） 1. Different students learn English for different purposes. Most of the students learn English because they need to read English textbooks or journals and attend English lectures, （while）（Meantime）(in comparison with) a few students use it to talk to English-speaking visitors, attend seminars, or write letters and reports.（表并列）

68 第七讲 2. Many people applaud / welcome this new development while others have expressed their concern about this.(表转折) 3. Bird flu and SARS are two typical examples that environmental destruction may threaten our life. ( Besides)(Furthermore)(Moreover), forest destruction, water and air pollution result in decrease of planting land and unpleasant weather.（表递进）

69 第七讲 4. Serious as the problem seems, we can come up with some measures to deal with it. (First of all)(To begin with)(Previously)（表开始）, the authorities should adopt the policy of “sustainable development”. (What’s more) (Additionally) (Besides) (in the second place)（表递进）, every citizen should realize the seriousness of the problem and make concerted efforts to protect our environment. (In addition) (moreover)(what is more important)(in particular)（表强调）, planting trees helps improve and beautify the environment.

70 第七讲 5. One method is to conserve and save our energy. (For instance) (as an illustration)(a good example of...)( take the case of) 表举例some countries have a daylight saving system to use less electricity for lighting. （And）(While) Some have enforced serious penalties on overuse of electricity, water, and farming land. (By these means)(accordingly)( thus) (as a consequence)表结果; the using of energy resources could be slowed down.

71 第七讲 五、语言表达（一） 词汇 1. 选用自己熟悉的词,力求简洁、准确 2. 尽可能不要连续、重复地用一个词。 3.根据使用场合选用确切的语言形式。 4. 选词清晰,使用通俗易懂的词语

72 第七讲 （二）句子 1、不要出现任何的拼写或语法错误。 2、要注意句型的多样化。 简单句，并列句和复杂句的交替使用，适当将句中非谓语结构、介词短语、从句等位置多样；插入语、同位语的运用等等。 3、恰当地使用熟知的句型或直接引用名句、谚语,活用名人名言等。

73 第七讲 E.g. We entered the office of the rubber factory. We met the director , and he called a guide to show us around the plant . When we entered the office of the rubber factory , we met the director , who called a guide to show us around the plant .

74 第七讲 六、检查修改 1. 检查是否切题 2. 检查语言的连贯性,上下文是否通畅,过渡词语使用是否恰当。 3. 再逐句检查语法,主、谓一致性,时态、语态、语气、习惯搭配等使用是否准确。单词的正确拼写;字母大小写和标点符号;数的一致性(包括主语与谓语以及名词与其限定语的单复数一致性); 指代关系(包括指代的一致性和代词的选用);动词形式(时态、语态、语气)等方面。 4. 检查大小写、拼写等。 七、书写认真，卷面整洁

75 第七讲 Thank You