Teaching sexuality to children

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1 Teaching sexuality to children
為兒女而設的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 港澳區會 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究習證書課程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

2 性教育的要點 KEY TO TEACHING SEXUALITY
只要你輕鬆自然的面對自己的性生活，就能輕鬆自然的與人談 “性” “The key to talking about sex is being comfortable with your own sexuality” Alberta Mazat, Captivated by Love

3 性教育 TEACHING SEXUALITY
性是上帝給人的禮物 Sex is a gift from God 淫蕩 與 性行為的分別 Sensuality vs sexuality

4 性教育 TEACHING SEXUALITY
沒有事實根據的論點 Myths 性教育和性知識會增加性活動。 Sex education and sexual knowledge increases sexual activity. 性是猥瑣、污穢和應該避免的。 Sex is nasty, dirty and to be avoided. 如果你告訴孩子太多性知識，他們會感到困惑和心煩意亂。 If you tell kids too much they just get confused & upset.

5 更多沒有事實根據的論點 MORE MYTHS . . .
最好等到孩子問的時候，才告訴他們性知識。 The best thing to do is just wait until they ask about sex. Then tell them. 孩子不想與父母談性 Kids don’t want to talk to parents about sex.

6 更多沒有事實根據的論點 MORE MYTHS . . .
其他人會告訴他們。 Someone else will tell them. 作為父母，我一定要知道所有問題的答案，否則我不能成為教導兒女明白「性」的人。 As a parent I must know all the answers to all the questions or I cannot be an effective sexuality educator.

7 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
1 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 自幼開始，並持續地教導 Start early and work on it continuously 用溫和和直接的方法來護理男孩子割包皮的傷口和女孩子的生殖器官，保持衛生。 Care for the boy’s circumcision and girl’s genital area in a gentle and straight-forward way 讓兒女明白上帝創造的身體是可愛的；坦誠地與兒女談你自己的性生活。 Communicate that God made the whole body lovely ;be at ease with your own sexuality

8 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
1 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 當幼兒開始對自己的身體產生好奇心的時候，便要幫助他們去認識身體的器官和肢體並它們正確的名稱。 Help babies to identify the different parts of the body when they start exploring their bodies ; use correct words 切勿拍打他們的手來禁止他們，也不要對他們說：「不要摸，很骯髒。」 Don’t slap their hand and say, “Don’t touch, it’s bad.”

9 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
2 父母要同負教育的責任 Share the Responsibility 父母要向兒女談性事。 Both parents should talk to their children about sex

10 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
2 母親回答孩子發出的問題之後，她可以對孩子說：「你可以跟爸爸談談這個問題，因為他可以從男性的角度告訴你。媽媽只是從女性的角度看這問題。」 After a mother gives her response she can say, “Why don’t you go talk to Daddy about this, because he can tell you how men feel. I can only tell you how women feel.”

11 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
3 回答要簡潔 Answer Simply 暫停所做的事，認真處理兒女所發的問題。 Stop and think what the child is asking 兒女若問媽媽為什麼肚子裡有嬰兒時，媽媽就要直接解答這個問題，而不用向他解釋什麼是月經(月事)。 If the child asks about babies, don’t explain about menstruation

12 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
3 父母要有簡單直接的答案。 Give a simple, direct answer 不要長篇的解釋，因為兒女會感到納悶，以後不敢再向你發出問題。 Don’t bore your child with long, boring answers; they won’t come back for more

13 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
3 你可以用以下的話來鼓勵他們再發問題：「我的答案有沒有解釋到你的問題呢？」或說：「你滿意我的答案嗎？」 Give an invitation for more questions; say, “Does that explain it?” “Is it okay?”

14 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
4 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 看準適當時機來教育 Use teachable moments 當兒女從傳媒或學校看到或聽到一些令他們困惑和震驚的資訊而發出問題時，父母就要回答這些問題。 Answer children’s questions when they are confused or shocked at something they have seen in the media, or heard at school 當有親友懷孕時，就當趁機向兒女講有關嬰兒的常識。 Talk about babies when an aunt or a friend is going to have a baby

15 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
5 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 面對傳媒資訊的影響 Counter the effect of the media 與年幼的兒女一同看電視並在適當的時候向他們解釋節目的內容。 Watch TV programs with small children and point out what we think about them 如果電視節目講到一對成年人未結婚便同居，我們就要告訴兒女，耶穌希望男女結婚，成為夫婦，這樣才會有美滿幸福的生活。 If an unmarried couple is living together on television, we could point out that Jesus wants us to live happily forever in marriage

16 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
6 主動提出討論 Initiate Discussion 如果兒女從來不問你有關性問題，你要主動提出討論，不應該他們不問，你就不理會。 If your child does not ask a single question about sex, initiate the discussion

17 一般的原則 GENERAL PRINCIPLES
6 當兒女九歲時，父母就要對他們說：「你從未問過關於生孩子的問題，或是性問題。不如我們現在談一談吧。」 By the time the child is nine, we need say, “Honey, I’ve noticed you’ve never asked about babies or about sexual matters. Maybe we could talk about it”

18 Teaching sexuality to children 2 & 3 yrs
2-3歲幼兒的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 2 & 3 yrs 港澳區會 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究習證書課程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

19 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
性教育是一段長期的教育過程。 Sex education is a long-term process 教導幼兒明白「性」的竅門方法，就是重覆向他們講有關方面的資訊，直到他們吸收，成為根深蒂固的觀念。 The key to teaching young children is the repetition of information until it becomes ingrained in their thinking

20 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
把兒女所發出的性問題，視為一般的問題，父母不應因他們發出性問題而緊張。 Treat a child’s questions about sex as casually as we do his other questions

21 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
4. 任何出自父母口中的話，幼兒都會篤信不疑，因此父母必須把正確的性觀念教導幼兒。 Toddlers believe anything they are told, so it is very important to be accurate in offering sexual information

22 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
5. 父母用繪圖方式，把一些性觀念具體化告訴幼兒，讓他們知道上帝賜給男和女有不同的性器官。 Convey concrete information by using drawings/pictures to show how God has given made us different

23 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
6. 讓幼兒認識植物世界、動物世界和昆蟲世界。(如果家中的寵物懷孕，便是最好機會向幼兒解釋生命的來源。 ) Introduce children to the world of plants, animals, and insects n (a pregnant pet is an excellent opportunity to explain how God created life)

24 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
7. 每次教育的時間不要超過五分鐘。 Lessons should be short—no longer than 5 minutes 8. 與幼兒談「性」，父母必須用正確的醫學名詞，即使起初會覺得不習慣。 Use correct medical terms even though we may feel uneasy at first.

25 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
父母要準確講出性器官的正確名稱。 Name the sex organs accurately 幼兒的問題，簡單的回答便可。 Provide simple answers to questions

26 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
示範問題： Sample Question: 問: 「我是從哪裡來的？」 Q： Where did I come from? 答：「你在媽媽肚腹下面的一個小袋裡生長。 當你 長大到要生出來的時間，你就在媽媽兩腿之間的一個通道，叫做「陰道」出來。 A： You grew within a small bag inside your mommy, just below her tummy. When you were big enough to be born, you came out through an opening between mother’s legs called the vagina

27 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
問: 「我怎樣走進你的身體那裡呢？」 How did I get inside your body? 答: 「當上帝造爸爸媽媽的時候，把很小的卵子放在我們裡面。爸爸身體裡的卵子叫做「精子」，媽媽身體裡就有很多卵子。當爸爸的精子和媽媽的卵子結合時，小嬰兒便開始在媽媽肚腹下面，一個叫做「子宮」的袋裡成長。」 A： When God created mommies and daddies, he put tiny eggs inside each of them. Daddy has what is called sperm inside his body, and mommy has tiny eggs. When the sperm from daddy meets with the egg inside mommy, a little baby grows in a bag called uterus

28 2-3歲幼兒的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs
問: 「為什麼媽媽的乳房是脹大呢？」 Why does Mommy have big breasts? 答: 「所有成年女人的乳房都是脹大的。上帝使女人的乳房脹大的原因是因為她的肚裡有嬰兒時，她的乳房便充滿乳液。這些乳液是初出生嬰兒的食物，嬰兒要靠這些乳液維持生命，直到他懂得喝奶瓶的奶為止。」 All grown-up women have large breasts. God make women this way because a mommy’s breasts will fill up with milk when she has a baby. This milk is food for the baby until it is old enough to take milk from the bottle.

29 Teaching sexuality to children 4 & 5 yrs
4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 4 & 5 yrs 港澳區會 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究習證書課程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

30 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
開始讓他們知道上帝創造人，記載在聖經創世記中。 Begin with the Creation story in Genesis. 講述伊甸園的故事。上帝吩咐亞當和夏娃生養眾多，遍滿全地。 Recount how God made Adam & Eve and told them to multiply and subdue the earth

31 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
簡單描述兩性繁殖後代的過程。 Give a short description of sexual reproduction.

32 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
當兒童把玩性器官時，父母要溫和地糾正他 Deal gently with children when they fondle their genitals 要心平氣和向他指出這是不正確的行為。 Speak to them calmly that it is inappropriate 切勿以切除他的性器官來恐嚇他，這樣會使孩子對自己的性器官有錯誤的觀念。 Don’t foster negative feelings about sex organs by telling scary stories of castration or some disaster

33 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
不要讓學前兒童藉著扮演「醫生」、「護士」來互相探視對方的性器官，滿足他們的好奇心。 Firmly discourage playing “doctor and nurse” where pre-schoolers explore each other’s bodies

34 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
你要告訴孩子，探視對方的性器官是不正確的行為。 Explain exploring other’s bodies is inappropriate 讓孩子知道每個人的身體都是私有的，不要赤裸裸地給別人看，也不要用手撫摸別人身體的私處部位。 Help children realize that our bodies are private and we are not to expose them to others or touch the private parts of another person

35 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
教導他們好的觸摸和不好的觸摸，並教導他們當有人給他們「不好」的觸摸時，便要告訴大人。 Teach them about good and bad touch and to tell an adult when someone gives them a “bad” touch

36 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
當兒童玩角色扮演時，鼓勵女孩子穿女性衣服，男孩子穿男性衣服。 If children enjoy playing “dress up”, encourage girls to dress in female clothing and boys to dress in male clothing 讓兒童認識男女服飾和外表是有顯著的不同。 Help children to see a clear dividing line between male and female dress and personal appearance.

37 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
在兒女的頭5、6年內，父母應該教導他們認識自己的性別。兒子應該多與爸爸接觸見面，以便他能發展正確的觀念，明白男性的角色和責任。 During the first 5 or 6 years of life, the young child’s sexual identity will be formed. A boy needs contact with his father in order for his sexual identify to be developed properly.

38 4-5歲學前兒童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs
對於那些沒有爸爸的孩子，或是爸爸的性格很極端的孩子，他們都較其他孩子更難分辨男性的角色和責任。如果媽媽的性格比爸爸更強的話，兒子也會傾向於接受女性的性格和行為而抗拒男性的性格和行為。 Boys whose fathers are absent, passive or rejecting often find it harder to identiy with the male role. Overly dominating mothers may lead a young boy to identify too strongly with his mother and reject masculinity.

39 Teaching sexuality to children 6-10 yrs
6-10歲小學生的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 6-10 yrs 港澳區會 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究習證書課程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

40 6-10歲小學生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs
小學階段的兒童喜歡查問理由，喜愛思考。 The primary school child learns to reason and think things through 6歲的兒童開始留意男女之間的身體有許多不同之處，因而產生好奇心，有興趣想知道。 Displays awareness and interest in the physical differences between boys and girls by age 6

41 6-10歲小學生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs
8歲至10歲的兒童開始和朋友談「性」，並會用一些與性有關的名稱來互相起誓。 Begins to talk about sex with friends and use sexual terms in swearing at 8 years

42 6-10歲小學生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs
他們會玩一些探視對方身體部位的遊戲來滿足好奇心。 Engages in sex play to satisfy curiosity 10歲的兒童已經從朋友的交談中明白「月經」(或月事)和性交是什麼回事。 Learns about masturbation and sexual intercourse from their friends by around age 10

43 6-10歲小學生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs
小學階段的兒童想知道「懷孕」是什麼回事，也想知道胎兒怎樣在母腹裡成長。 Has interest in conception and the process by which a baby grows inside the mother’s body

44 6-10歲女孩子的性教育 For Girls 6-10 yrs
母親應該在女兒8至9歲時，向她解釋什麼叫做月經(月事)。 Mothers need to explain about menstruation to daughters 9-10 years 讓女兒知道月經(月事)是一件很自然發生的事。 Assure her it’s a perfectly natural occurrence 女兒必須明白每月一次的月經(月事)是正常的，不是她不潔淨或骯髒。 Help her understand that there is nothing “unclean” or “filthy” about her monthly cycle.

45 6-10歲男孩子的性教育 For Boys 6-10 yrs
父母要向9-10歲的兒子解釋「夢遺」。 Fathers need to explain “wet dreams” to sons at 9-10 years old 向兒子再三保證，夢遺是正常的事 。 Assure him it’s a natural occurrence 教導兒子夢遺後要怎樣處理，特別是與朋友露營時發生這事。 Help him to learn how to deal with it when it happens especially when he is on a campout with his friends

46 6-10歲孩子的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs
認識性交 Teach about sexual intercourse 首先和他們討論動物的有性繁殖方法。 First discuss sexual reproduction among animals 接下來，和他們討論媽媽和爸爸從相戀、結婚，到互表愛意時製造一條新生命的過程。 Then lead discussion of how mothers and fathers fall in love, get married and create a new life as they express their love to each other

47 Teaching sexuality to children 11-13 yrs
11-13歲少年人的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children yrs 港澳區會 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究習證書課程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

48 11-13歲少年人的性教育 Pre-adolescents 11-13
「青春期的特徵是少年人的性器官已經發展成熟，可以隨時負起繁殖後代的工作。女孩子會有月經(月事)， “ Puberty is characterized by the maturing of the sexual organs in preparation for reproduction-- menstruation in girls

49 11-13歲少年人的性教育 Pre-adolescents 11-13
男孩子的睪丸已儲備精子，同時他們也有其他的性特徵，例如有陰毛、腋毛，女孩子的乳房脹大、男孩子的聲音變得低沉。」 and the first presence of sperm in boys – as well as secondary sex characteristics such as pubic hair, underarm hair, enlarged breasts in girls, deepened voice in boys.”

50 男孩的改變 Changes in Boys 向少年人解釋男孩子在身體和情緒上的重大變化。
Explain significant physical and emotional changes in the body of a boy at preadolescence 男孩子的腦下垂體分泌三種重要的荷爾蒙，其中一種主要的稱謂雄性素。雄性素的作用是刺激他們產生進取、野心和衝動的行為。 The pituitary gland releases 3 key hormones, the main one being androgen which stimulates aggressiveness, ambition and drive

51 男孩的改變 Changes in Boys 雄性素 Androgen 刺激睪丸產生一種名為睪丸素的荷爾蒙。
Stimulates testicles to produce the testosterone hormone 使睪丸生產精子細胞 Induces production of sperm cells 身體上的毛髮增長 Growth of body hair

52 男孩的改變 Changes in Boys 使喉頭增厚，聲音變得低沉。
Induces growth of larynx resulting in a deeper voice 刺激乳房部位立時擴張。 Stimulates a temporary enlargement of the breasts

53 女孩的改變 Changes in Girls 雌激素刺激乳房脹大，臀部闊大，生殖器官發育成熟。
女孩子的腦下垂體分泌兩種基本的荷爾蒙：雌激素和黃體激素。 Explain that the pituitary gland stimulates 2 primary hormones—estrogen and progesterone 雌激素刺激乳房脹大，臀部闊大，生殖器官發育成熟。 Estrogen stimulates growth of the breasts, widening of the hips & maturation of the genitals

54 女孩的改變 Changes in Girls 促使月經(月事)來臨，並使子宮內有一層薄膜(子宮內膜)形成，以便懷孕時，胎兒在子宮內成長。
Induces menstruation and formation of a special lining called endometrium in the girl’s uterus for childbearing

55 性知識 Sex Awareness & Information
教導女孩子認識她們的生殖器官和它的功能 Teach girls about their reproductive organs and how they function 幫助她們明白懷孕是怎樣發生的 Help them understand how conception takes place 教導她們婚前性行為的危險，因為隨時會導致她們懷孕 Teach them the dangers of premarital sex which may lead to pregnancy

56 男孩的性知識 Sexual Knowledge for Boys
夢遺 Nocturnal emissions 解釋「夢遺」就是把過剩的精子細胞排出體外的一種獨特方法。 Explain how this unique release mechanism helps with unused sperm cells

57 男孩的性知識 Sexual Knowledge for Boys
「夢遺」是上帝所設計的方法，把少男和成年男子體內過剩的精子細胞和性能量釋出體外。 Known as “wet dreams”, it is God’s method of releasing built-up sperm cells and sexual energy in an adolescent boy or man 父母要向兒子再三保證，夢遺是正常的事，他們不要感到罪咎和難為情。 Reassure them it’s normal and they need not feel guilty

58 手淫 Facts about Masturbation
聖經對這個問題沒有任何啟示 The Bible is silent on this subject 醫生聲明手淫不會損害健康。 Medical doctors declare the practice harmless to health 父母卻可以向子女提出以下的理由，解釋為什麼他們認為手淫不應該是基督徒的行為 Parents could suggest the following reasons by they feel masturbation is unacceptable for Christians.

59 為何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable
用手玩弄性器官時通常都會帶來性幻想和淫蕩的思想，而聖經很清楚地譴責這類思想(太5：28)。 Fantasizing & lustful thinking are usually involved and the Bible condemns such thoughts (Matt 5:28)

60 為何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable
性愛是上帝專為兩個異性的人而設，讓他們互相倚靠雙方的合作而做出性愛的行為。手淫卻是自我滿足，享受不到這種互相配合的經驗。 Sexual expression was designed by God to be performed jointly by two people of the opposite sex, resulting in a necessary and healthy dependence on each other for the experience.

61 為何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable
林前7：9說：「與其慾火攻心，倒不如嫁娶為妙。」。若然一位年青男子有手淫的習慣，那麼，從婚姻生活所得到的那種性滿足，對他來說，便毫無意義。 It violates 1 Cor 7:9: it is better to marry than to burn. If a young person masturbates frequently, it tends to nullify a necessary and important motivation for marriage

62 為何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable
一般人在手淫後都會感到罪惡感。這種罪惡感會影響屬靈生命成長。 Guilt is a universal aftermath of masturbation. Such guilt interferes with spiritual growth. 在婚前已經有手淫的習慣，當婚後夫婦的性生活出現不協調時，他便很容易倚賴這習慣來得到性滿足而不去改善夫婦的性關係。 It creates a habit before marriage that can easily be resorted to afterward as a cop-out when both partners have sexual conflicts

63 總結Conclusion 孩子們必須知道「性」既是美麗，但又是遭到破壞。因為我們所住的地球，也是既美麗，又遭到破壞。
Children need to know that sex is both beautiful and broken. Because we live in a world that is both beautiful and broken,

64 總結Conclusion 「性」當然也不能倖免。但我們作為基督徒，卻可以做出明智而有見識的選擇，使我們享受美麗而蒙福的人生。
sexuality has not escaped, but we can make intelligent and informed choices that will help us, as Christians, stay in the realm of the beautiful and blessed.