开放作文专题.

Presentation on theme: "开放作文专题."— Presentation transcript:

1 开放作文专题

2 练习 Mr. Li is the manager of a large company. He went back home late as usual one night. He found a note written by his only son, saying that he would leave home … You know the boy and tell us why:

3 One Saturday afternoon, Li Hua and Wang Ping were playing in the woods when they found a bird on the ground. They picked it up and found it wounded. •Suppose you are Li Hua and Wang Ping. Please tell us what you did with the bird

4 1、审语境 2、审人称 3、审时态: 一个星期六的下午，李华和王平在树林里玩，这时他们在地上发现一只小鸟，他们拣起小鸟，发现小鸟受伤了
Supposing you are Li Hua and Wang Ping. 从此句的提示中可以看出时要求你以李华和王平两个人的口气续写，因此人称就该we 3、审时态: Please tell us what you did with the bird.在这个提示语中的did正是决定学生在写作中所用的时态应该是过去时

5 例1： •If I were Li Hua I would try my best to save the bird. I would put the bird carefully into my soft hat to keep it warm. And then carried it to an animal hospital as soon as possible. I think doctor could help it. If the bird can live I would carry it back home, and took care of it until it can fly back to the woods. If it couldn’t live, I would buried it. I think whoever meet this thing will do just like what I did. Everybody would like to see this bird family live happily together, isn’t it? （审题错误）

6 例2： • First find the wound of the bird quickly. Second, tidy the wound carefully and softly and remember not to make the bird pain a lot. Then put some medicine on it and tie a cloth around the wound 时态/句型不妥

7 •例3： •I was worried about the little bird when I had picked it up. Its leg was seriously hurt. So I decided to bring it to see the doctor. But Li Hua told me that the doctor couldn’t see the animals. At last we put it on a big tree, because we believed it could be safer in the woods than in the city. We hoped it could be better now 人称错误

8 例5： • One day afternoon, Wang Ping and I were playing happily in the woods. We were playing balls and suddenly the ball ran into the other side of the road. I hurried to get it when I saw a bird lying there and I found it was wounded. We quickly took it to the hospital and the doctor gave the bird some medicine and we took it back home then. It was getting better and better and we decided to set it free the next day. 主次不分

9 •例6： • Wang Ping told me that he was a little hungry and we could eat the bird. I greed with him and we found some dry wood and put it together. Then we cooked the bird. It was really delicious. What a happy day. 思想不够积极

10 •1、认真审题，即：审语境、审人称、审时态
•2、要紧扣主题，符合要求，首尾呼应 •3、注意写作对象和语言风格，要有读者的意识 •4、要进行细致描写，有细节的支撑 •5、要有主次之分， 详略得当 •6、要力求内容新颖，必须符合逻辑 •7、要做到思想健康，积极向上

11 Thinking that it might die without treatment, we took it home
Thinking that it might die without treatment, we took it home. I made a little nest for it and gave it some rice to eat. Some days later, the bird recovered. We took it out and let it be back to the woods. I thought we had done so good a deed. More detailed and meaningful

12 We tried to save the bird by giving it some water and food
We tried to save the bird by giving it some water and food. And then we decided to take it to the animal hospital，but it was too late. After a short while, the bird couldn’t move at all and it was dead. So we dug a small hole and put the bird into it as a tomb. What a pity! Coherent; meaningful

13 On a sunny morning, Xiao Hong from Orange Town was on her way to her friend’ s house in Green Hill, a small town she had never been to before. At a crossroads, she found the signpost （路标） showing the directions had fallen over. She got lost. How could she find out which way to go? Consider two or three different ways of working out the problem.

14 Xiao Hong don’t worry. I’ll give you some adivse
Xiao Hong don’t worry. I’ll give you some adivse. First, you will look for a person who will can take you to your friends home. If nobody, you can look at the sun, which can tell you the dection. 人称不对

15 I think Xiao Hong should ask to throught the road’s people to go Green Hill way. Then she should help the crossroad to stand. Or she should go to a tellphone will beat near and call for her friend. 句式混乱，结构不清。 中文式英语

16 At first, she can asking somebody who cross there for help
At first, she can asking somebody who cross there for help. The second way, she can take phone to home and asks his family who can answer her question. The third way is take phone to 110. They can help she. 动词形式、短语使用不正确

17 First , she could ask for help from the passer-by, who were walking the road. The second, she could use the signpost. Let the signpost lead to the way from Orange Town. Then, she could find the way to the Green Hill. And the last way was that she telephoned her friend and asked her friend to pick up her. 层次分明，句式表达简练；不足之处是部分词语使用欠准确