Teaching sexuality to children 为儿女而设的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 港澳区会 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究习证书课程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

性教育的要点 KEY TO TEACHING SEXUALITY 只要你轻松自然的面对自己的性生活，就能轻松自然的与人谈 “性” “The key to talking about sex is being comfortable with your own sexuality” Alberta Mazat, Captivated by Love

性教育 TEACHING SEXUALITY 性是上帝给人的礼物 Sex is a gift from God 淫荡 与 性行为的分别 Sensuality vs sexuality

性教育 TEACHING SEXUALITY 没有事实根据的论点 Myths 性教育和性知识会增加性活动。 Sex education and sexual knowledge increases sexual activity. 性是猥琐、污秽和应该避免的。 Sex is nasty, dirty and to be avoided. 如果你告诉孩子太多性知识，他们会感到困惑和心烦意乱。 If you tell kids too much they just get confused & upset.

更多没有事实根据的论点 MORE MYTHS . . . 最好等到孩子问的时候，才告诉他们性知识。 The best thing to do is just wait until they ask about sex. Then tell them. 孩子不想与父母谈性 Kids don’t want to talk to parents about sex.

更多没有事实根据的论点 MORE MYTHS . . . 其它人会告诉他们。 Someone else will tell them. 作为父母，我一定要知道所有问题的答案，否则我不能成为教导儿女明白「性」的人。 As a parent I must know all the answers to all the questions or I cannot be an effective sexuality educator.

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 1 一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 自幼开始，并持续地教导 Start early and work on it continuously 用直接而尊重的态度来解释男孩子割包皮和女孩子的生殖器官是什么回事。 Care for the boy’s circumcision and girl’s genital area in a gentle and straight-forward way 让儿女明白上帝创造的身体是可爱的；坦诚地与儿女谈你自己的性生活。 Communicate that God made the whole body lovely ;be at ease with your own sexuality

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 1 一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 当幼儿开始对自己的身体产生好奇心的时候，便要帮助他们去认识身体的器官和肢体并它们正确的名称。 Help babies to identify the different parts of the body when they start exploring their bodies ; use correct words 切勿拍打他们的手来禁止他们，也不要对他们说：「不要摸，很肮脏。」 Don’t slap their hand and say, “Don’t touch, it’s bad.”

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 2 父母要同负教育的责任 Share the Responsibility 父母要向儿女谈性事。 Both parents should talk to their children about sex

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 2 母亲回答孩子发出的问题之后，她可以对孩子说：「你可以跟爸爸谈谈这个问题，因为他可以从男性的角度告诉你。妈妈只是从女性的角度看这问题。」 After a mother gives her response she can say, “Why don’t you go talk to Daddy about this, because he can tell you how men feel. I can only tell you how women feel.”

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 3 回答要简洁 Answer Simply 暂停所做的事，认真思索儿女所发的问题。 Stop and think what the child is asking 儿女若问妈妈为什么肚子里有婴儿时，妈妈就要直接解答这个问题，而不用向他解释什么是月经(月事)。 If the child asks about babies, don’t explain about menstruation

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 3 父母要有简单直接的答案。 Give a simple, direct answer 不要长篇的解释，因为儿女会感到纳闷，以后不敢再向你发出问题。 Don’t bore your child with long, boring answers; they won’t come back for more

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 3 你可以用以下的话来鼓励他们再发问题：「我的答案有没有解释到你的问题呢？」或说：「你满意我的答案吗？」 Give an invitation for more questions; say, “Does that explain it?” “Is it okay?”

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 4 一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 看准适当时机来教育 Use teachable moments 当儿女从传媒或学校看到或听到一些令他们困惑和震惊的信息而发出问题时，父母就要回答这些问题。 Answer children’s questions when they are confused or shocked at something they have seen in the media, or heard at school 当有亲友怀孕时，就当趁机向儿女讲有关婴儿的常识。 Talk about babies when an aunt or a friend is going to have a baby

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 5 一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 面对传媒信息的影响 Counter the effect of the media 与年幼的儿女一同看电视并在适当的时候向他们解释节目的内容。 Watch TV programs with small children and point out what we think about them 如果电视节目讲到一对成年人未结婚便同居，我们就要告诉儿女，耶稣希望男女结婚，成为夫妇，这样才会有美满幸福的生活。 If an unmarried couple is living together on television, we could point out that Jesus wants us to live happily forever in marriage

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 6 主动提出讨论 Initiate Discussion 如果儿女从来不问你有关性问题，你要主动提出讨论，不应该他们不问，你就不理会。 If your child does not ask a single question about sex, initiate the discussion

一般的原则 GENERAL PRINCIPLES 6 当儿女九岁时，父母就要对他们说：「你从未问过关于生孩子的问题，或是性问题。不如我们现在谈一谈吧。」 By the time the child is nine, we need say, “Honey, I’ve noticed you’ve never asked about babies or about sexual matters. Maybe we could talk about it”

Teaching sexuality to children 2 & 3 yrs 2-3岁幼儿的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 2 & 3 yrs 港澳区会 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究习证书课程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 性教育是一段长期的教育过程。 Sex education is a long-term process 教导幼儿明白「性」的窍门方法，就是重复向他们讲有关方面的信息，直到他们吸收，成为根深蒂固的观念。 The key to teaching young children is the repetition of information until it becomes ingrained in their thinking

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 把儿女所发出的性问题，视为一般的问题，父母不应因他们发出性问题而紧张。 Treat a child’s questions about sex as casually as we do his other questions

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 4. 任何出自父母口中的话，幼儿都会笃信不疑，因此父母必须把正确的性观念教导幼儿。 Toddlers believe anything they are told, so it is very important to be accurate in offering sexual information

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 5. 父母用绘图方式，把一些性观念具体化告诉幼儿，让他们知道上帝赐给男和女有不同的性器官。 Convey concrete information by using drawings/pictures to show how God has given made us different

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 6. 让幼儿认识植物世界、动物世界和昆虫世界。(如果家中的宠物怀孕，便是最好机会向幼儿解释生命的来源。) Introduce children to the world of plants, animals, and insects n (a pregnant pet is an excellent opportunity to explain how God created life)

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 7. 每次教育的时间不要超过五分钟。 Lessons should be short—no longer than 5 minutes 8. 与幼儿谈「性」，父母必须用正确的医学名词，即使起初会觉得不习惯。 Use correct medical terms even though we may feel uneasy at first.

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 父母要准确讲出性器官的正确名称。 Name the sex organs accurately 幼儿的问题，简单的回答便可。 Provide simple answers to questions

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 示范问题： Sample Question: 问:「我是从哪里来的？」 Q：Where did I come from? 答：「你在妈妈肚腹下面的一个小袋里生长。 当你 长大到要生出来的时间，你就在妈妈两腿之间的一个通道，叫做「阴道」出来。 A： You grew within a small bag inside your mommy, just below her tummy. When you were big enough to be born, you came out through an opening between mother’s legs called the vagina

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 问:「我怎样走进你的身体那里呢？」 How did I get inside your body? 答:「当上帝造爸爸妈妈的时候，把很小的卵子放在我们里面。爸爸身体里的卵子叫做「精子」，妈妈身体里就有很多卵子。当爸爸的精子和妈妈的卵子结合时，小婴儿便开始在妈妈肚腹下面，一个叫做「子宫」的袋里成长。」 A： When God created mommies and daddies, he put tiny eggs inside each of them. Daddy has what is called sperm inside his body, and mommy has tiny eggs. When the sperm from daddy meets with the egg inside mommy, a little baby grows in a bag called uterus

2-3岁幼儿的性教育 For Children 2-3 yrs 问: 「为什么妈妈的乳房是胀大呢？」 Why does Mommy have big breasts? 答:「所有成年女人的乳房都是胀大的。上帝使女人的乳房胀大的原因是因为她的肚里有婴儿时，她的乳房便充满奶水。这些奶水是初出生婴儿的食物，婴儿要靠这些奶水维持生命，直到他懂得喝奶瓶的奶为止。」 All grown-up women have large breasts. God make women this way because a mommy’s breasts will fill up with milk when she has a baby. This milk is food for the baby until it is old enough to take milk from the bottle.

Teaching sexuality to children 4 & 5 yrs 4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 4 & 5 yrs 港澳区会 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究习证书课程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 开始让他们知道上帝创造人，记载在圣经创世记中。 Begin with the Creation story in Genesis. 讲述伊甸园的故事。上帝吩咐亚当和夏娃生养众多，遍满全地。 Recount how God made Adam & Eve and told them to multiply and subdue the earth

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 简单描述两性繁殖后代的过程。 Give a short description of sexual reproduction.

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 当儿童把玩性器官时，父母要温和地纠正他 Deal gently with children when they fondle their genitals 要心平气和向他指出这是不正确的行为。 Speak to them calmly that it is inappropriate 切勿以切除他的性器官来恐吓他，这样会使孩子对自己的性器官有错误的观念。 Don’t foster negative feelings about sex organs by telling scary stories of castration or some disaster

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 不要让学前儿童借着扮演「医生」、「护士」来互相探视对方的性器官，满足他们的好奇心。 Firmly discourage playing “doctor and nurse” where pre-schoolers explore each other’s bodies

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 你要告诉孩子，探视对方的性器官是不正确的行为。 Explain exploring other’s bodies is inappropriate 让孩子知道每个人的身体都是私有的，不要赤裸裸地给别人看，也不要用手抚摸别人身体的私处部位。 Help children realize that our bodies are private and we are not to expose them to others or touch the private parts of another person

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 教导他们好的触摸和不好的触摸，并教导他们当有人给他们「不好」的触摸时，便要告诉大人。 Teach them about good and bad touch and to tell an adult when someone gives them a “bad” touch

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 当儿童玩角色扮演时，鼓励女孩子穿女性衣服，男孩子穿男性衣服。 If children enjoy playing “dress up”, encourage girls to dress in female clothing and boys to dress in male clothing 让儿童认识男女服饰和外表是有显著的不同。 Help children to see a clear dividing line between male and female dress and personal appearance.

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 在儿女性的头5、6年内，父母应该教导他们认识自己的性别。儿子应该多与爸爸接触见面，以便他能发展正确的观念，明白男性的角色和责任。 During the first 5 or 6 years of life, the young child’s sexual identity will be formed. A boy needs contact with his father in order for his sexual identify to be developed properly.

4-5岁学前儿童的性教育 For Children 4-5 yrs 对于那些没有爸爸的孩子，或是爸爸的性格很极端的孩子，他们都较其它孩子更难分辨男性的角色和责任。如果妈妈的性格比爸爸更强的话，儿子也会倾向于接受女性的性格和行为而抗拒男性的性格和行为。 Boys whose fathers are absent, passive or rejecting often find it harder to identiy with the male role. Overly dominating mothers may lead a young boy to identify too strongly with his mother and reject masculinity.

Teaching sexuality to children 6-10 yrs 6-10岁小学生的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 6-10 yrs 港澳区会 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究习证书课程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

6-10岁小学生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs 小学阶段的儿童喜欢查问理由，喜爱思考。 The primary school child learns to reason and think things through 6岁的儿童开始留意男女之间的身体有许多不同之处，因而产生好奇心，有兴趣想知道。 Displays awareness and interest in the physical differences between boys and girls by age 6

6-10岁小学生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs 8岁至10岁的儿童开始和朋友谈「性」，并会用一些与性有关的名称来互相起誓。 Begins to talk about sex with friends and use sexual terms in swearing at 8 years

6-10岁小学生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs 他们会玩一些探视对方身体部位的游戏来满足好奇心。 Engages in sex play to satisfy curiosity 10岁的儿童已经从朋友的交谈中明白「月经」(或月事)和性交是什么回事。 Learns about masturbation and sexual intercourse from their friends by around age 10

6-10岁小学生的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs 小学阶段的儿童想知道「怀孕」是什么回事，也想知道胎儿怎样在母腹里成长。 Has interest in conception and the process by which a baby grows inside the mother’s body

6-10岁女孩子的性教育 For Girls 6-10 yrs 母亲应该在女儿8至9岁时，向她解释什么叫做月经(月事)。 Mothers need to explain about menstruation to daughters 9-10 years 让女儿知道月经(月事)是一件很自然发生的事。 Assure her it’s a perfectly natural occurrence 女儿必须明白每月一次的月经(月事)是正常的，不是她不洁净或肮脏。 Help her understand that there is nothing “unclean” or “filthy” about her monthly cycle.

6-10岁男孩子的性教育 For Boys 6-10 yrs 父母要向9-10岁的儿子解释「梦遗」。 Fathers need to explain “wet dreams” to sons at9-10 years old 向儿子再三保证，梦遗是正常的事 。 Assure him it’s a natural occurrence 教导儿子梦遗后要怎样处理，特别是与朋友露营时发生这事。 Help him to learn how to deal with it when it happens especially when he is on a campout with his friends

6-10岁孩子的性教育 For Children 6-10 yrs 认识性交 Teach about sexual intercourse 首先和他们讨论动物的有性繁殖方法。 First discuss sexual reproduction among animals 接下来，和他们讨论妈妈和爸爸从相恋、结婚，到互表爱意时制造一条新生命的过程。 Then lead discussion of how mothers and fathers fall in love, get married and create a new life as they express their love to each other

Teaching sexuality to children 11-13 yrs 11-13岁少年人的性教育 Teaching sexuality to children 11-13 yrs 港澳区会 Hong Kong Macao Conference 幸福家庭研究习证书课程 Family Life Certification 2009年9月18-20日 September 18-20, 2009

11-13岁少年人的性教育 Pre-adolescents 11-13 「青春期的特征是少年人的性器官已经发展成熟，可以随时负起繁殖后代的工作。女孩子会有月经(月事)， “ Puberty is characterized by the maturing of the sexual organs in preparation for reproduction-- menstruation in girls

11-13岁少年人的性教育 Pre-adolescents 11-13 男孩子的睪丸已储备精子，同时他们也有其它的性特征，例如有阴毛、腋毛，女孩子的乳房胀大、男孩子的声音变得低沉。」 and the first presence of sperm in boys – as well as secondary sex characteristics such as pubic hair, underarm hair, enlarged breasts in girls, deepened voice in boys.”

男孩的改变 Changes in Boys 向少年人解释男孩子在身体和情绪上的重大变化。 Explain significant physical and emotional changes in the body of a boy at preadolescence 男孩子的脑下垂体分泌三种重要的荷尔蒙，其中一种主要的称谓雄性素。雄性素的作用是刺激他们产生进取、野心和冲动的行为。 The pituitary gland releases 3 key hormones, the main one being androgen which stimulates aggressiveness, ambition and drive

男孩的改变 Changes in Boys 雄性素 Androgen 刺激睪丸产生一种名为睪丸素的荷尔蒙。 Stimulates testicles to produce the testosterone hormone 使睪丸生产精子细胞 Induces production of sperm cells 身体上的毛发增长 Growth of body hair

男孩的改变 Changes in Boys 使喉头增厚，声音变得低沉。 Induces growth of larynx resulting in a deeper voice 刺激乳房部位立时扩张。 Stimulates a temporary enlargement of the breasts

女孩的改变 Changes in Girls 雌激素刺激乳房胀大，臀部阔大，生殖器官发育成熟。 女孩子的脑下垂体分泌两种基本的荷尔蒙：雌激素和黄体激素。 Explain that the pituitary gland stimulates 2 primary hormones—estrogen and progesterone 雌激素刺激乳房胀大，臀部阔大，生殖器官发育成熟。 Estrogen stimulates growth of the breasts, widening of the hips & maturation of the genitals

女孩的改变 Changes in Girls 促使月经(月事)来临，并使子宫内有一层薄膜(子宫内膜)形成，以便怀孕时，胎儿在子宫内成长。 Induces menstruation and formation of a special lining called endometrium in the girl’s uterus for childbearing

性知识 Sex Awareness & Information 教导女孩子认识她们的生殖器官和它的功能 Teach girls about their reproductive organs and how they function 帮助她们明白怀孕是怎样发生的 Help them understand how conception takes place 教导她们婚前性行为的危险，因为随时会导致她们怀孕 Teach them the dangers of premarital sex which may lead to pregnancy

男孩的性知识 Sexual Knowledge for Boys 梦遗 Nocturnal emissions 解释「梦遗」就是把过剩的精子细胞排出体外的一种独特方法。 Explain how this unique release mechanism helps with unused sperm cells

男孩的性知识 Sexual Knowledge for Boys 「梦遗」是上帝所设计的方法，把少男和成年男子体内过剩的精子细胞和性能量释出体外。 Known as “wet dreams”, it is God’s method of releasing built-up sperm cells and sexual energy in an adolescent boy or man 父母要向儿子再三保证，梦遗是正常的事，他们不要感到罪咎和难为情。 Reassure them it’s normal and they need not feel guilty

手淫 Facts about Masturbation 圣经对这个问题没有任何启示 The Bible is silent on this subject 医生声明手淫不会损害健康。 Medical doctors declare the practice harmless to health 父母却可以向子女提出以下的理由，解释为什么他们认为手淫不应该是基督徒的行为 Parents could suggest the following reasons by they feel masturbation is unacceptable for Christians.

为何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable 用手玩弄性器官时通常都会带来性幻想和淫荡的思想，而圣经很清楚地谴责这类思想(太5：28)。 Fantasizing & lustful thinking are usually involved and the Bible condemns such thoughts (Matt 5:28)

为何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable 性爱是上帝专为两个异性的人而设，让他们互相倚靠双方的合作而做出性爱的行为。手淫却是自我满足，享受不到这种互相配合的经验。 Sexual expression was designed by God to be performed jointly by two people of the opposite sex, resulting in a necessary and healthy dependence on each other for the experience.

为何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable 林前7：9说：「与其欲火攻心，倒不如嫁娶为妙。」。若然一位年青男子有手淫的习惯，那么，从婚姻生活所得到的那种性满足，对他来说，便毫无意义。 It violates 1 Cor 7:9: it is better to marry than to burn. If a young person masturbates frequently, it tends to nullify a necessary and important motivation for marriage

为何手淫是不能接受 Why Masturbation is Unacceptable 一般人在手淫后都会感到罪恶感。这种罪恶感会影响属灵生命成长。 Guilt is a universal aftermath of masturbation. Such guilt interferes with spiritual growth. 在婚前已经有手淫的习惯，当婚后夫妇的性生活出现不协调时，他便很容易倚赖这习惯来得到性满足而不去改善夫妇的性关系。 It creates a habit before marriage that can easily be resorted to afterward as a cop-out when both partners have sexual conflicts

总结Conclusion 孩子们必须知道「性」既是美丽，但又是遭到破坏。因为我们所住的地球，也是既美丽，又遭到破坏。 Children need to know that sex is both beautiful and broken. Because we live in a world that is both beautiful and broken,

总结Conclusion 「性」当然也不能幸免。但我们作为基督徒，却可以做出明智而有见识的选择，使我们享受美丽而蒙福的人生。 sexuality has not escaped, but we can make intelligent and informed choices that will help us, as Christians, stay in the realm of the beautiful and blessed.