TEM4(2011)作文试卷评析 华东理工大学 颜静兰教授

主讲人颜静兰教授简介 英语专业四、八级考试写作阅卷组组长 华东理工大学外国语学院副院长，博士生导师 英语专业四级考试在线课堂 主讲人颜静兰教授简介 英语专业四、八级考试写作阅卷组组长 华东理工大学外国语学院副院长，博士生导师 全国跨文化交际研究会常务理事，上海市分会副会长 上海市外文协会理事，华东理工大学英语演讲辩论中心主任 研究生方向：跨文化交际学、英国文学、英语教学、英语演讲辩论

Should Private Car Owners be Taxed for Pollution? 英语专业四级考试在线课堂 作文评析：9分作文 Should Private Car Owners be Taxed for Pollution? Recently the government agencies in some big cities have been studying the possibility of putting a “pollution tax” on private cars. This has caused a great stir among the public. Some people hold the opinion that it is an effective way to control the number of cars and reduce the amount of pollution in the city, but others don’t think so. As far as I’m concerned, private car owners should be properly taxed for pollution. The following two reasons are used to support my point of view. On one hand, as well known to us, our surrounding is seriously polluted especially by car pollution. Therefore, “pollution tax” on private car can effectively remind us of the severely pollution. Then the number of cars and pollution in the city can be reduced in some way. On the other hand, we know that we are facing the resource crisis. However, more private cars will use up more gas or other resources. So if we tax private car owners for pollution, we can decrease the use of resources and then protect the environment from pollution indirectly. In conclusion, I think that private car owners should be properly taxed for pollution. It is not only for punishment but also for warning. “pollution tax” on private cars is an effective way to control the number of cars, reduce pollution and protect resources. From now on, as students, we should try our best to carry out it, such as going somewhere far away by bus, or other public transportations.

General statement ————— 第一段的写作 Thesis statement Your attitude 英语专业四级考试在线课堂 第一段的写作 Background Controversial debate General statement ————— Thesis statement Your attitude Main ideas

英语专业四级考试在线课堂 第一部分： Recently the government agencies in some big cities have been doing research on the possibility of putting a “pollution tax” on private cars. This has resulted in a great stir among the public. Some people hold the opinion that it is an effective way to control the number of cars and reduce the amount of pollution in the city, but others don’t think so. As far as I’m concerned, private car owners should be properly taxed for pollution. 该篇作文第一段写得还可以。 前面的general statement 交代了背景，政府有关机构正在研究向私家车征收污染费的可能性，这一举动引发了民众争议，有支持，有反对。 接着，从“As far as I am concerned”开始的thesis statement阐述了作文作者的观点：私车主应该交污染费，但是要“properly”。我们期待后面的讨论会指出如何“properly”。

英语专业四级考试在线课堂 第二部分的写作 议论文第二部分的写作要注意: 结构严谨，条理清楚； 论证严密，论据妥当。 写作的时候要尽量做到紧扣论点进行分析讨论，表述要有逻辑性。

第二个论点转到资源危机方面，认为征税可以减少资源利用，从而间接保护环境不被污染。论据说服力不够。 英语专业四级考试在线课堂 The following two reasons are used to support my point of view. On one hand, as well known to us, our surrounding is seriously polluted especially by car pollution. Therefore, “pollution tax” on private car can effectively remind us of the severely pollution. Then the number of cars and pollution in the city can be reduced in some way. On the other hand, we know that we are facing the resource crisis. However, more private cars will use up more gas or other resources. So if we tax private car owners for pollution, we can decrease the use of resources and then protect the environment from pollution indirectly. 要讨论的观点应该在第一段的Thesis statement 里交代清楚，第二段主要是论证，但是作文作者继续讨论背景，论证不严密，结构松散不够紧凑。 第一个论点模糊，论据交代不清楚，直接得出结论： Therefore, “pollution tax” on private car can effectively remind us of the severely pollution.Then the number of cars and pollution in the city can be reduced in some way. 第二个论点转到资源危机方面，认为征税可以减少资源利用，从而间接保护环境不被污染。论据说服力不够。 对Thesis statement提出的“properly”征税没有任何讨论和表述。