2009年高考情景作文.

Presentation on theme: "2009年高考情景作文."— Presentation transcript:

1 2009年高考情景作文

2 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为响应绿化祖国的号召，你班四月十二日去郊区植树，请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，介绍植树活动的全过程，给某英文杂志的“绿色行动”专栏写一篇以“Green Action in Our Class”为题的英文稿件。 注意：词数不少于60 提示词：郊区 suburbs 情景作文

3 审中文信息 图的顺序不能错！ 标题 词数 提示词
第一人称过去时 审中文信息 图的顺序不能错！ 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为响应绿化祖国的号召，你班四月十二日去郊区植树，请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，介绍植树活动的全过程，给某英文杂志的“绿色行动”专栏写一篇以“Green Action in Our Class”为题的英文稿件。 注意：词数不少于60 提示词：郊区 suburbs 标题 词数 提示词

4 四幅图的先后顺序： 审图 图1. 出发 图2. 种树过程 图3. 安插提示牌 图4. 照相留念    

5 图1内容要点及细节 要点 出发 清晨 骑车出发 风景和心情 细节

6 图2内容要点及细节 要点 种树 挖坑 搬树 种树 浇水 细节

7 图3内容要点及细节 要点 安插提示牌 细节 安插提示牌 爱护树木

8 图4内容要点及细节 要点 照相留念 手里拿着种树工具 站在小树林和牌子旁 心情或感受 细节

9 图1内容要点及细节 Set out Early in the morning on April 12th； suburbs;
by bike； 细节

10 图2内容要点及细节 plant trees arrive; dig holes; carry trees; water trees; 要点

11 图3内容要点及细节 put up a board put up a board saying ”please protect trees”

12 图4内容要点及细节 take photos take photos; stand in a raw with tools in hands;
beside the board and trees 细节

13 as soon as we arrived at the planting spot; when we reached …；
顺序 要点 要点的细节支撑 连接词 Picture 1 set out early in the morning; on April 12th； suburbs; by bike； early in the morning Picture 2 plant trees arrive; dig holes; carry trees; water trees; as soon as we arrived at the planting spot; when we reached …； upon arrival Picture 3 put up a board put up a board saying ”please protect trees” afterwards; after finishing planting all the trees; Picture 4 take photos take photos; stand in a raw with tools in hands; beside the board and trees before leaving; in order to treasure the activity

14 阅卷过程中发现的问题 时间和地点不清：on April 12th, suburbs 关键词错误：dig-dug，board
字数不足60词-1 无结尾-1 人称错-酌情扣分 时态错-降档

15 情景作文写作要求 考试说明指出： 内容要点、上下文的连贯、词汇和句式的多样性及语言的准确性。

16 情景作文评分原则 先看内容定档 重点参考语言质量 注重整体语言运用能力 要点齐全，语言好，进三档以上 缺要点，语言差，四档或五档
（12分以上） 缺要点，语言差，四档或五档 （11分以下） 先看内容定档 重点参考语言质量 注重整体语言运用能力

17 情景作文各档范文

18 定档：一档 高考范文：April 12 is memorable because our class had a meaningful experience on that day. In the morning, we bicycled to the suburbs to plant trees, talking and laughing all the way. Upon arrival, we began to work immediately. Some were digging holes. Some were carrying and planting young trees. Others were watering them. After getting the work done, we put up a board reminding people to protect the trees.

19 Before leaving we took some photos to record our green action
Before leaving we took some photos to record our green action. Seeing the lines of trees, we all had a sense of achievement. We feel it’s our duty to protect and beautify our environment.

20 Green Action in Our Class
覆盖了所有内容要点，有细节描述，句式和词汇较丰富，所写内容连贯，结构清晰，体现较强的语言运用能力。 17-18分 点评 Green Action in Our Class I am Li Hua from Class 1 Senior 3 in HongXing middle school. On April 12th our class organized an activity to plant trees in suburbs to make our country more beautiful. Early in the morning on April 12th, my classmates and I went to the suburbs by bicycle. And there was an awsome breath-taking scenery on our way which could be just appreciated in rural areas, green mountains, golden wheat field and so on, which brought us great joys.

21 When we got there, we went into working at once
When we got there, we went into working at once. Some of us dug holes to plant trees and some of us took the little trees to the holes. What’s more, there were also some careful girls watering the trees which were just planted. Thanks to our great efforts, all the trees were soon planted and two of our classmates even put up a board reading “love and protect the trees” in front of the little forest made by us. After all the hard work, we also took photos of our whole class with tools in our hand in front of the trees. Exhausted but happy, we had a significant day and I hope our country will be more beautiful because of the decorating of trees!

22 点评 基本覆盖了全部内容要点，细节描写不够充分，基本完成规定的写作任务。存在语法和用词等错误。 12 分
I’m Li Hua a student of Seniro 3 class of Hong Xing Middle School. In order to respond to the appealation of making our courntry greener, our class decided to go to suburbs to plant trees on April, 12th. Early in the morning, we went to the destination by bike. There are many trees and rice by the side of the road. On our way to there, we enjoyed the beautiful view and talked happily. As soon as we got there, we began to work. Some of us dug, some burried, some watered and the rest took the trees to places where need them. After planting trees, we chose an obvious place to make a sign read “ Protect treess” stand to prevent people from cutting trees. At last, we took photes in front of the trees. Almost worn out as we were, we extremely excited, for we did a qualification deed.

23 点评 要点描述不充分；尤其是第二幅图没有展开；所用句式和词汇有限；有语法等表述错误，影响对内容的理解。 6分
Hong Xing middle school had an activity to make the country green than before on April 12nd. Class one greade three students made the action in suburbs. First of all, they met at country road in the morning and went to the suburbs by bike. After the arrived at the suburbs they began to planted the tree and watered the tree. While they finished planting, they made a sign beside the trees. The words in the sign are plase protect the trees. Finally they took some photos and back to the home. What a meaningful day!

24 好句子 When we got there, it was still early.
We worked so hard that we finished the work quickly. After finishing planting trees, we put up a board reminding people of protecting the trees. Standing in front of the trees, we took a photo to record this meaningful activity. It was our duty to beautify our nation.

25 That was what I gain from our activity.
The sweat rolled down from our neck, but we were still full of energy. Pleasure can be seen on our faces. We hoped that there will be more and more people to take part in our action. To draw people’s attention, we also put up a sign which called on people to….. We did the things as we had planned. Having done all these things, we……. Having finished this Green Action, I realized that………

26 The sun was shing and the view was beautiful.
Everyone got down to work as soon as we got there. Tired as we were, we have never experienced such a meaningful day. From that day on… It was high time we protected our environment.

27 特别提示 写作评分要点： 今后的工作重点： 1、要点（细节） 1、定档是关键 2、时态人称 2、语言质量是关键 3、字数 3、关键词是关键
4、要点齐全是关键 今后的工作重点： 1、要点（细节） 2、时态人称 3、字数 4、结尾 5、标题 6、给分（区分度） 7、卷面和书写