Parenting Workshop 家教工作坊

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What do you understand by the word Truth? 您对于“真理”一词是如何理解的？

“The family is essential for the blossoming of human personality; how can a helpless baby grow and learn, talk and move forwards without the home? The home needs the community around to keep it safe and happy.” Baba 家庭是绽放人类个性之花之园。一个无助的婴儿在无家庭的环境里如何能成长和学习、交流与活动呢？家庭又需要社区来维系它的安全和幸福。——巴巴

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What role did “Truth” play in your daily life as a child? 当您还是孩子的时候，“真理”在您的日常生活中地位是怎样的？

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What role models were important and especially significant to you as a child? 当您还是孩子时，对您意义非凡的角色模范是怎样的？

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What supporting role did your family play in your life? 在您的生活中，您的家庭对于您来说，起到了怎样的作用？

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 “The mother and father are the first examples of social behavior that the child sees before it learns to imitate.” Baba ”母亲和父亲是孩子学会模仿前的第一个社会角色模子。 ——巴巴”

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What role did your extended family play in your life as a child? 当您是孩子时，您希望您的大家庭将在您的生活中扮演什么角色？

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What role did your parent’s friends play in your life as a child? 当您是孩子时，您父母的朋友在您生活中扮演什么角色呢？

Truth – Finding Your Roots 真理——追求您的本质 What can we do to intensify connection with the extended family and friends? 我们能做些什么来加强与大家庭以及父母朋友之间的关系？

Love in the Family 家中的爱

“Children should have the love of parents “Children should have the love of parents. The child grows with the mother for the first five years of life. Many children do not know what the love of the mother is like. The mother should not hand over her responsibility during these years to someone else. Nowadays they are handed over to the care of the servants and others, and they grow up in their company and learn their vocabulary, habits, styles and thought.” –Sathya Sai Baba 儿童应该拥有父母的爱，母亲在儿童人生最开始的五年里伴随着他们逐渐成长。但是，很多孩子不知道母亲的爱是什么样的。作为母亲，在那五年里不应该将这种责任拱手转给他人。现在，很多孩子是在护理人员或其他人的护理下长大的，去学习词汇、习惯、方式和思想。

“Parents today tend to lavish too much affection on their children “Parents today tend to lavish too much affection on their children. But such affection alone is not enough. There should be control also over the children. There should be both ‘love’ and ‘law’. Only when both love and restraint are present will the love prove beneficial. For all the evil habits of children, who are naturally innocent and uninformed, the parents are primarily responsible. They do not make any efforts to teach proper ways of behaviour to the children .” –Sahya Sai Baba 当今的父母都倾向于为自己的孩子付出太多的爱，但仅仅是单方面的爱是不够的。对所有孩子我们都应该控制这种“爱”，而要保持“爱”与“规矩”的平衡。只有当爱与要求同时赋予的时候，这样的爱才是最有效的。对于所有具有坏习惯的孩子来说，他们本质上是纯洁无知的，所以父母应该负主要的责任。因为他们没有付出足够的努力来教给自己正确的行为方式。——赛斯亚·塞·巴巴

Hong Kong Standard, April 22nd, 2009 2009年4月22日 香港标准 Survey of 4229 parents and 2952 children in Hong Kong: 对香港的4229名家长以及2952名儿童的调查： 51% shout at their children when confronted with problems. 当面对问题时有51%的家长呵斥儿童； 1/9 beat their children. 1/9的家长责打孩子； Few parents prepared to say “You are a good child” (the number 1 statement children said they would like to hear) 只有极少数家长会说“你是一个好孩子”。（这句话是孩子们最喜欢听到的一句话。）

Hong Kong Standard, April 22nd, 2009 2009年4月22日 香港标准 Few parents will say, “Sorry, I didn’t think about your feelings,” or “I’m so happy I gave birth to you”. 很少有家长会对孩子说：“对不起，我没有考虑到你的感受。”或者是“我生了你我感到很幸福。” Parents punish failure and praise children only when they succeed. 只有当孩子成功的时候家长才会表扬孩子，而他们失败时则招来的是惩罚； “We all have expectations of our children and my daughter wasn’t living up to mine so we would always fight. [Her daughter tried to commit suicide.] 一个想要自杀的女孩的家长说：“我们已经对我们的孩子抱有了极大的期望，期望孩子们能达成自己曾经想要努力达成的目标。”

How can we create a culture of values and a language of love in our lives? 我们如何创造使我们的生活充满爱 的语言环境以及充满人文价值关怀的文 化氛围？

Close your eyes and feel alienated from the group. 闭上您的眼睛，体验一下您被小组排斥 时的感受。 Close your eyes again and feel love for the group. 再次闭上您的眼睛，体验一下您从小组 内所获得的爱。

The Importance of Love in the Family and the Home 家庭之爱的重要性 How has TV modified the language of love in your home? 电视节目如何改变您家中的爱的语言环境的呢？

The Importance of Love in the Family and the Home 家庭之爱的重要性 When we are angry, exasperated or create a tense atmosphere in the home, what are the signals we give to our child? 当我们在家中生气、恼怒或者制造紧张气氛时，我们传达给我们的孩子怎样的信号呢？

The Importance of Love in the Family and the Home 家庭之爱的重要性 Give as many features as possible of 尽可能多的给出下列概念的特征： (i) conditional love and （1）有条件的爱 (ii) unconditional love （2）无条件的爱

The Importance of Love in the Family and the Home 家庭之爱的重要性 Would you like to narrate and share an episode in your life as a child when you felt you were being loved conditionally? How did you feel? 您愿意描述和分享一个您童年生活中的让您体会到有条件的爱时的小故事吗？您当时是怎样的感受？

Truth and Love 真理和爱 Insights 自我反思： What have I learnt? 我学到了什么？

What am I going to work on? Truth and Love 真理和爱 Action Plan行动计划： What am I going to work on? 我将会继续做点什么呢？

Summary 总结 Conflict occurs in every home. If resolved it creates strength and if not then it creates misunderstandings. 每个家庭中都会发生冲突。如果能化解冲突，则增强了家庭力量，反之，则会产生出很多误会。 Family and friends are important to help us grow in all aspects of our lives. 家庭和朋友是帮助我们在生活中的方方面面成长的重要人员。 Parents are important role models for children – they notice a lot more about their parents’ behaviour than the parents realize. 家长是孩子最重要的角色模板——孩子们注意到家长的方方面面比起家长自己意识到的还有多得多。 Many parents punish children for failure and only praise them when they succeed. 只有当孩子成功的时候家长才会表扬孩子，而他们失败时则招来的是惩罚。

Summary 总结 Parents often have their own expectations of what their child will be and do, rather than encouraging the child to develop his own unique strengths and gifts. 家长经常会对自己孩子应该是怎样和应该做什么怀有个人的期望，而很少鼓励自己的孩子去发展他们自己的特长和才华。 Love is the most important thing for a growing child. 爱对于一个成长中的孩子来说是十分重要的。

Parental love gives a signal that the children are important and valuable. The children feel wanted, less anxious and stressed. And they are able to concentrate better. 父母之爱传达的信号就是孩子是很重要和有价值的。儿童感到被需要，很少焦虑和紧张，而且他们能更好地集中注意力。 When parents are in a state of constant tension they become self-absorbed and neglect the discipline. And that also causes confusion in the minds of the children. This is not an ideal circumstance for children to concentrate and learn. 当家长处于一种长期紧张状态时就会变得自我关注和忽视纪律原则。同时他们也会对教育孩子的思考混乱，这就没有一个使孩子能集中精神学习的理想环境。