好的老师是个好的心理学家 彭凯平博士 加州大学伯克利分校心理学系 清华大学心理学系 2010年9月2日

好老师的特性 精通专业 ( Knowing the Subjects) 了解学生 （Knowing the Students） 思维敏捷 （Fast Thinkers） 情商很高 （High EQ) 鼓励人心 （Good Motivators） 善长交流 （Good Communicators）

1.了解学生的差异 个体差异有哪些？ 根本的个体差异有哪些？ A (才智）- IQ， T （性情）－EQ， P （人格）－CPI，MMPI，MBTI C （思维风格）－DSS，AHL，NC，NCC …

人的智力差异是很大的 一般认知能力——智力, 智商有高遗传率为0．70 马当神风送滕王阁 醒世恒言  明·冯梦龙

良久，一吏报道：“南昌故郡，洪都新府。”阎公道：“此乃老生常谈，谁人不会！”一吏又报道：“星分翼轸，地接衡庐。”阎公道：“此故事也。”又一吏报道：“襟三江而带五湖，控蛮荆而引瓯越。”阎公不语。又一吏报道：“物华天宝，龙光射斗牛之墟；人杰地灵，徐孺下陈蕃之榻。”阎公道：“此子意欲与吾相见也。”又一吏报道：“雄州雾列，俊彩星驰。台隍枕夷夏之邦，宾主接东南之美。”阎公心中微动，想道：“此子之才，信亦可人！”数吏分驰报句，阎公暗暗称奇。又一吏报道：“落霞与孤鹜齐飞，秋水共长天一色。”阎公听罢，不觉以手拍几道：“此子落笔若有神助，真天才也！”遂更衣复出至座前。宾主诸儒，尽皆失色。阎公视王勃道：“观子之文，乃天下奇才也！”欲邀勃上座。王勃辞道：“待俚语成篇，然后请教。”须臾文成，呈上阎公。公视之大喜，遂令左右，从上至下，遍示诸儒，一个个面如土色，莫不惊伏，不敢拟议一字。其全篇刻在古文中，至今为人称诵。

©John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2007 Huffman: Psychology in Action (8e) 一般智力测验：实用性智力 ©John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2007 Huffman: Psychology in Action (8e)

高级智力测验：分析性智力 你在一群说真话的人和说谎话的人中间。说真话的人说的都是真话，说谎的人说的都是谎话。你遇见了一位新朋友，他告诉你他听到一个女孩说她自己是一个说谎者。你的这位新朋友是说谎者还是说真话的人。 汤姆森一家有五个兄弟，每个兄弟都有一个姊妹。算上汤姆森太太，汤姆森一家共有多少个女性？ 一瓶酒共值10美元，酒比瓶子贵9美元。请问瓶子值多少钱

创造力测验：创造性智力 Using these materials, how would you mount the candle on a bulletin board?

智商与学习的关系 是不是IQ越高越好？ 传统的智力测验注重的是抽象的逻辑推理能力。但我们很容易发现智力高低与学习没有很高的相关。中国人经常说“眼高手低”，“高分低能”。 理性思维：大数原则，平均数回归，状元的悲剧 创造性智力与成功关系密切

性格的差异 Allport的定义： 性格是一个人内在心理生理系统的动态组织，它决定了此人对其环境的独特的适应。它决定了此人的所有思想和行为。 性格是个人在行为、思想和情感方面显示出的独特且相对稳定的风格。 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

人格的五个纬度 内外向 外向性(Extraversion)：衡量个人在与人关系上的调整程度，外向的人比较合群、自我肯定、善与交往。 亲和力(Agreeableness)：衡量个人在思想、情緒与行动上同情、合作与原谅他人的程度。 责任感，严谨性(Conscientiousness)：衡量个人的自律、坚毅性、可信賴性及目标导向的程度。 情绪稳定，神经質(Neuroticism)：衡量个人调整情緒不穩定性之能力，能鉴定出一個人的情緒自我中心或情緒化的程度。 开放性(Openness to experience)：衡量追求新经验和依賴保守经验的程度，以及对陌生事物的容忍性与探索能力。 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

内外向的测量 很健谈 比较稳重 精力充沛 热情 很安静 性格果敢 有时会害羞 喜欢外出 善于交际 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

亲和力的测量 喜欢找别人毛病 乐于助人不自私 爱与别人争吵 天性宽容 值得信赖 待人冷漠 喜欢远离人群 几乎对所有人都很体贴友善 有时会很粗鲁地对待别人 喜欢同别人合作 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

责任感的测量 做事彻底 有点粗心 办事可靠 很容易没有条理 很懒 坚持不懈直到任务完成 工作效率高 制定计划并且认真彻底执行 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

情绪稳定性的测量 很沮丧 很放松 能很好地处理压力 很紧张 经常担心 情绪不稳定 很情绪化 在压力环境下仍能保持镇定 很敏感 很容易心烦意乱 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

思维开放性的测量 很有创造力 很容易有新想法 谨慎处理难题 很能深入思考 想象力丰富 重视艺术、审美 喜欢程序化的工作 喜欢想事 擅长艺术、音乐或者文学 This work has identified 2 basic strategies in control behavior: 1) One is the purposeful distraction from “hot” features of a conflict stimulus, which would otherwise elicit automatic impulsive responses. Like if a child can’t get her eyes off the marshmallows she is waiting for, she soon give up on delay. But if she is looking around and engaging her attention with other things in the room, delay becomes easier. 2) Another effective strategy is to focus on the “cool”, cognitive, informational aspects of a conflict stimulus. Such as when marshmallows are thoughts of in terms of their color and shape “puffy clouds”, rather than its hot, consummatory features “yummy) In both cases, the goal of the regulatory system is to make the situation less frustrating, less arousing so that impulsive response tendencies are attenuated in the service of one’s long-terms goals.

行为方式类型 A型性格的人表现出强烈的竞争性、烦躁和时间紧迫感，在许多条件下反应迅速（如，在交谈中，他们经常在他人还没说完时就开始讲话） B型性格的人的表现相反；他们表现更加平静、放松 行为方式类型的自我测验 竞争: 1,5, 9, 13, 17,21 不平衡: 2,6, 10, 14, 18, 22 敌意: 3, 7, 11, 15,19, 23 焦躁: 4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24 >12

A B 性格的人 A性格 B性格 总在动 对慢不耐烦 同时做两件事 有空闲时间不知如何打发 只喜欢成功 从来不感到时间急 不喜欢讲自己的成就 打球是好玩，而不是比输赢 轻松时没有罪恶感受

AB 性格测试 不在意约会时间 从不迟到 无争强好胜心 争强好胜 从不感觉仓促 总感到人时间压力 一时只做一事 喜欢一心多用 做事节奏平缓 1，2，3，4，5，6，7，8 从不迟到 无争强好胜心 争强好胜 从不感觉仓促 总感到人时间压力 一时只做一事 喜欢一心多用 做事节奏平缓 做事很快 喜欢表达情感 不喜欢暴露自己 有许多爱好 没有什么爱好

测试结果 分数 类型 〈 30 B+ 30~33 B 34~35 AB 36~39 A 〉39 A+

相应的教育方式 对学生的正面强化 经验共享 较多的互动时间 强调反馈 平衡工作与业余生活

六韬观人术 问之以是非以观其志 提出广泛且具有深度的开放性问题，以观察其志向。 穷之以辞辩以观其智。 不断地追根究底，以观察对方的机智与反应。 咨之以计谋以观其识 提出各种困境，询问对方的解决之道，以观察对方的智识与能力。

告之以难以观其勇 提出各种状况，探寻对方临机应变的胆识与魄力。 醉之以酒以观其性 在不设防的情况下，深入探讨对方的本性。 临之以利以观其廉 让他在担任更大的职位之前，先担任易受贿赂的职务，以观察他是否清廉。

思维方式差异 了解一个人的思维方式比了解其IQ高低更具有普遍意义

分析判断与综合判断的区别 康德《纯粹理性批判 》 ——分析判断与综合判断的区别 康德《纯粹理性批判 》 ——分析判断与综合判断的区别 以主词(假定为A)和谓词(假定为B)的关系来划分，判断有两种类型(这里只探讨肯定判断，否定判断可由此类推)： 一种是从属关系，即B属于A，隐含在A的概念中；——分析的判断 另一种是相关关系，即B完全处于A的概念之外，但二者有联系。——综合的判断

A B 那个图可与牛配对? A 还是 B？

下面三个事物中, 哪倆个关系密切些? 猴子-香蕉-熊猫 老师 –医生 –作业 归类 下面三个事物中, 哪倆个关系密切些? 猴子-香蕉-熊猫 老师 –医生 –作业

归类方式 名词和动词的世界 西方思维：范畴和归类——逻辑 东方思维：关系和相似——类比

类比 天无二日， 人无二君 党似母亲 春蚕到死丝方尽，蜡炬成灰泪始干 自行车－把手 ： 船 －？

分析手段是解决高难问题的基础； 综合思维是发现高难问题的前提，它帮助人们或组织去识别精彩的、令人振奋的新问题。 学习的意义 分析手段是解决高难问题的基础； 综合思维是发现高难问题的前提，它帮助人们或组织去识别精彩的、令人振奋的新问题。

2. 思维如何敏捷：创造力 敏感力 流畅力 变通力 独创力 精进力 好奇力 想像力 31

话说纪晓岚当礼部侍郎的时候，一天尚书和御史连袂来访。聊着聊着，突然外头跑来一只狗。尚书心生一计要取笑纪晓岚，便道：“是狼是狗？”(侍郎是狗) 纪晓岚知道尚书在捉弄他，当下也不动声色的说：“要分辨狗或狼有两种方法。一种是看它的尾巴，下垂是狼，上竖是狗。”(尚书是狗) 一旁的御史大笑道：“哈哈，我还道那是狼是狗呢，原来上竖是狗，哈哈哈。”此时纪晓岚不慌不忙的接着又说道：“另一种分辨的方法就是看它吃什么。狼是非肉不食，狗则遇肉吃肉，遇屎吃屎。”(御史吃屎) 这下子连御史也噤声无言了。

3. 情商的意义 情商的心理基础 戈尔曼（Goleman, 1995): 情商(Emotional Intelligence)指的是一组非认知技能，这组技能可以显著影响一个人应对变革压力的能力。 延迟满足实验

情商的5个方面 1、 自我意识，即了解自己的感觉； 2、 自我管理，即监控自己的情绪； 3、 自我推动，即在挫折和失败面前坚持不懈； 1、  自我意识，即了解自己的感觉； 2、  自我管理，即监控自己的情绪； 3、 自我推动，即在挫折和失败面前坚持不懈； 4、  同情，即感他人所感； 5、 社交技能，即对他人的情绪作出适当反应。

情商的名言? “一个人的成功15-20%取决于他的智商，80%取决于他的情商” “从山顶上向下扔石头，最圆的那一颗石头总是滑得最远”

延迟满足实验（Delay of Gratification ） 设计被试偏好 例如：奖励的大小 (一件或两件奖品，小量糖果和大量糖果) 设计实验情景 实验者必须离开实验室一会儿 大的奖励：如果等到实验者回来，孩子可以得到大的奖励 小的奖励：如果等不及就按铃，实验者就会马上回来给被试一个小的奖励 因变量：被试在不知道何时回来的条件下，能够等待的时间长短 一般的孩子能等到十五到二十分钟 a young child is shown some consumable that he or she desires, for example marshmallows or pretzel sticks. A dilemma is presented: wait until the experimenter returns and get two of the desired treats or, alternatively, ring a bell, and the experimenter will come back immediately--but then only one treat will be obtained. The child clearly prefers the larger outcome, and commits herself to wait for it. When the researchers started looking at for how long children could delay, they observed that there was a big variability in children’s ability to delay gratification. Some children waited for the whole time which is mostly 15 minutes and some couldn’t even wait for a minute. So they observed what the kids were doing through a one way mirror. MOVIE here…. As we saw, many children who were able to delay longer distracted themselves from paying attention to the rewards. Some sang songs, some fell asleep. Some talked to themselves. But basically they found a way to move their attention away from the temptations. This suggested to them that attention could be a major mechanism that determines whether or not a child can delay gratification.

长期的预测效应 教育上的结果 心理适应能力 与大学入学考试的相关 与二十七岁时所获得的学位高低有关 与父母和同伴的社会能力评价有关 SAT verbal : r = .42 SAT math: r = .57 与二十七岁时所获得的学位高低有关 心理适应能力 与父母和同伴的社会能力评价有关 与成人后的自尊水平有关 有较高的个人成就 a young child is shown some consumable that he or she desires, for example marshmallows or pretzel sticks. A dilemma is presented: wait until the experimenter returns and get two of the desired treats or, alternatively, ring a bell, and the experimenter will come back immediately--but then only one treat will be obtained. The child clearly prefers the larger outcome, and commits herself to wait for it. When the researchers started looking at for how long children could delay, they observed that there was a big variability in children’s ability to delay gratification. Some children waited for the whole time which is mostly 15 minutes and some couldn’t even wait for a minute. So they observed what the kids were doing through a one way mirror. MOVIE here…. As we saw, many children who were able to delay longer distracted themselves from paying attention to the rewards. Some sang songs, some fell asleep. Some talked to themselves. But basically they found a way to move their attention away from the temptations. This suggested to them that attention could be a major mechanism that determines whether or not a child can delay gratification.

情商练习 1。在工作场合，出于某些误解，同事们不再跟你说话了。你确信自己没做错什么，你会怎么做呢？ A 等着他们主动再来找你说话 B 采取主动，去跟他们说话 C 静待时间来改善这一局面 D 找人调停 2. 假设你好似一家保险公司的保险经纪人。你接触了大量潜在客户，他们都当着你的面关上了门，拒绝购买保险。你会怎么做？ A. 怪罪自己，停下当天的工作 B. 重新评价自己到底有没有当保险经纪的能力 C. 相出新的策略，避免以后再出现同样局面 D. 改天再跟客户联系

4.激励 外在动机（Extrinsic motivation）：从事某种活动以满足个体的生物需求，或者是获得外在的奖励。例如，竞争中取胜，好的评价，社会承认，金钱和物质奖励等。 内在动机（Intrinsic motivation ）：从事某种活动能够满足个人的特殊愿望，或者是自身的信念和期望。例如：自我的发现，自我决策，好奇、快乐、兴趣等。

两种激励路径 激励的原则（Hedonic principle of motivation）：追求快乐，避免伤害 主动追求路径（Promotion focus ）: 追求获得，满足理想 规避风险路径（Prevention focus） : 规避损失，承担责任

规避风险的策略 主动追求的策略 追求 成就 理想 独特 快乐 积极 规避 安全 责任 和谐 安静 警觉

反馈的重要性 镜像自我 looking glass self 自我认识的误区 自大；self claim credit 过份自信；overconfidence 自我中心；self serving 不现实的自我； 聚光灯效应 自我参照效应 虚假的独特性

反馈的功能 测试学生的理解 Parroting: Simple repetition. Paraphrasing: Rephrasing in your own words. 增加信息 A constructive way of reflecting what a person has said back to them is do add to what they have said in some way. 建立关系 building rapport

罗杰斯的五种反馈策略 1. 评价 评价反馈主要是对人、事所做的正面或者负面的判断，基本的原则应该是对事不对人. 2. 解释 试图理解或者是解释对方的行为，通常是以问题为主。比如说，你好像对这门课不大感兴趣，是这样吗？ 3. 支持: 通常试图对对方的言行表示支持，它不是简单的评价，而是希望对方认可和阐述他们的行为。例如，太棒了，还能来一下吗？ Humanist Carl Rogers listed five types of feedback. The sequence is important: they are given in order of frequency of use (which is not necessarily the same order of effectiveness): Evaluative Evaluative feedback makes a judgment about the other person, evaluating worth or goodness. There is a big difference between judging a person and their actions. A personal evaluation judges the whole person and implies that this is a personal and unchangeable attribute. Negative personal evaluation can be very uncomfortable for the other person. Positive personal evaluation, on the other hand, is very flattering. You are not a very nice person. You are a lovely person. Behavioral evaluation judges the action, but not the person. This makes negative evaluation easier for the other person to accept. That was not a very nice thing to do. Interpretive In interpretive evaluation, you seek to test your understanding of what has been said by interpreting and paraphrasing back to the other person what you think has been said. This is typically followed by a question to allow the other person to agree with your interpretation or offer a correction. So you are interested in joining the club -- is this right? Understanding is not perfect and testing understanding is generally a very good thing to do. It is generally flattering too, as you are showing active interest in what they are saying. Supportive In supportive evaluation, you seek to support the other person in some way. In flattery, you support the other person's ego by telling them they are good in some way (whether or not this is true). That was truly awesome! Can you sing it again, please? You look wonderful! With developmental supportive feedback, you seek to help the other person change in some way. This is not always easy, as some criticism may be involved. Your singing is improving. You could try recording it and listening to the opening few notes. Hmm. I think the red dress suits you better. Supportive feedback can be reversed with the deliberate purpose of damaging the other person's ego in a personal attack: That was awful! You should give up singing. You look dreadful. Probing Probing seeks to find more information by asking deeper questions that seek specific information. See probing questions for more details. Could you tell me more about what happened? ... What happened next? ... What size was it? ... Why do you think that happened? Understanding At the 'understanding' level, you are seeking to understand not just what was said, but the whole person underneath. This asks questions not only shows that you are listening to the inner person, but also that you truly understand. It sounds like you have personal experience of this. Would you like to talk about it?

罗杰斯的五种反馈策略 4. 探究 主要是通过问题发现没有涉及的信息。比如说，你能详细告诉我事情到底是怎么发生的吗？为什么呢？ 5. 理解 用自己的方式重复对方的言语，以表示对对方言行的理解。比如说，看起来你的看法好像是与你的个人经历有关系，你呢个说一说这个经历对你有多大影响吗？ Humanist Carl Rogers listed five types of feedback. The sequence is important: they are given in order of frequency of use (which is not necessarily the same order of effectiveness): Evaluative Evaluative feedback makes a judgment about the other person, evaluating worth or goodness. There is a big difference between judging a person and their actions. A personal evaluation judges the whole person and implies that this is a personal and unchangeable attribute. Negative personal evaluation can be very uncomfortable for the other person. Positive personal evaluation, on the other hand, is very flattering. You are not a very nice person. You are a lovely person. Behavioral evaluation judges the action, but not the person. This makes negative evaluation easier for the other person to accept. That was not a very nice thing to do. Interpretive In interpretive evaluation, you seek to test your understanding of what has been said by interpreting and paraphrasing back to the other person what you think has been said. This is typically followed by a question to allow the other person to agree with your interpretation or offer a correction. So you are interested in joining the club -- is this right? Understanding is not perfect and testing understanding is generally a very good thing to do. It is generally flattering too, as you are showing active interest in what they are saying. Supportive In supportive evaluation, you seek to support the other person in some way. In flattery, you support the other person's ego by telling them they are good in some way (whether or not this is true). That was truly awesome! Can you sing it again, please? You look wonderful! With developmental supportive feedback, you seek to help the other person change in some way. This is not always easy, as some criticism may be involved. Your singing is improving. You could try recording it and listening to the opening few notes. Hmm. I think the red dress suits you better. Supportive feedback can be reversed with the deliberate purpose of damaging the other person's ego in a personal attack: That was awful! You should give up singing. You look dreadful. Probing Probing seeks to find more information by asking deeper questions that seek specific information. See probing questions for more details. Could you tell me more about what happened? ... What happened next? ... What size was it? ... Why do you think that happened? Understanding At the 'understanding' level, you are seeking to understand not just what was said, but the whole person underneath. This asks questions not only shows that you are listening to the inner person, but also that you truly understand. It sounds like you have personal experience of this. Would you like to talk about it?

5.沟通心理学 沟通指的是人与人之间信息、感情和思想的传递过程 一个信息对信息接受者的影响， 7% 是由双方使用的词汇决定的； 38%是由言语线索来决定的，包括说话的语调、音量、语速以及其他语言的相关特性； 其他55 %的作用来源于非言语的线索，包括面部表情、手势、身体的姿态等等。 可以这样说，决定沟通质量的因素不是由我们送出的信息决定，而是由我们输送的方式以及在对方头脑里所产生的效果所决定的.

影响人际沟通的因素 语言 沟通风格 情境影响 认同感 个人特质 媒介

与语言有关的问题 语言学的范畴: 词汇 (Linguistics) 对话距离 (Proxemics) 语言使用 (Pragmatics) 非言语 (Nonverbals)

生活中常用心理学诗词名句 知我者，谓我心忧，不知我者，谓我何求。 （诗经·王风·黍离） 青青子衿，悠悠我心。 （诗经·郑风·子衿） 他人有心，予忖度之。 （诗经·小雅） 己所不欲，勿施于人。 （论语·颜渊） 仁者见仁，智者见智。 （易经·系辞上） 司马昭之心，路人皆知。 （西晋·陈寿·三国志） 身无彩凤双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通。 （唐·李商隐·无题） 文章千古事，得失寸心知。 （唐·杜甫·偶题） 小楼一夜听风雨，深巷明朝卖杏花。 （宋·陆游·临安春雨初霁）

生活中常用诗词名句 海上生明月，天涯共此时。（张九龄） 欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。（王之涣） 独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。（王维） 长风破浪会有时，直挂云帆济沧海。（李白） 天生我材必有用，千金散尽还复来。（李白） 会当凌绝顶，一览众山小。（杜甫） 露从今夜白，月是故乡明。（杜甫） 烽火连三月，家书抵万金。（杜甫） 莫道桑榆晚，为霞尚满天。（刘禹锡） 天意怜幽草，人间重晚晴。（李商隐） 停车坐爱枫林晚，霜叶红于二月花。（杜牧） 今朝有酒今朝醉，明日愁来明日愁。（罗隐）

王国维“三种境界说” “昨夜西风凋碧树，独上高楼，望尽天涯路”，此第一境也； “衣带渐宽终不悔，为伊消得人憔悴”，此第二境也； “众里寻她千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处”，此第三境也。

语言影响思维? 中英文虚拟语气的差别 English has a special verb form (called the subjunctive) -        Am  were -        Will  would, could, should Chinese has no subjunctive form to explicitly mark hypothetical statements -        If I am elected president… can be factual or counterfactual

反现实思维的差异 (Bloom, 1981) “如果所有的圆都很大, 这个小三角形是个圆, 它会大吗?” “卢素是个法国哲学家. 但如果他是中国人, 他会成为一个有名的中国哲学家吗?” 98% 美国人, 6% 中国人作反现实思维.

空间：人际距离

Edward T. Hall, The Silent Language 个人空间 Edward T. Hall, The Silent Language 第一类个人空间 : 亲密的距离 第二类个人空间 : 朋友的距离 第三类个人空间 : 社交的距离 第四类个人空间 : 公共的距离 Social distances The social distances here are approximate, of course and will vary with people. But they are still a good general rule. Hall (1966) identified four zones that are common for Americans: Public Zone : > 12 feet (3m) The public zone is generally over 12 feet. That is, when we are walking around town, we will try to keep at least 12 feet between us and other people. For example, we will leave that space between us and the people walking in front. Of course there are many times when we cannot do this. What the theory of social distance tells us is that we will start to notice other people who are within this radius. The closer they get, the more we become aware and ready ourselves for appropriate action. When we are distant from another person, we feel a degree of safety from them. A person at a distance cannot attack us suddenly. If they do seem to threaten, we will have time to dodge, run or prepare for battle. Social Zone : 4 - 12 feet (1.5m - 3m) Within the social zone, we start to feel a connection with other people. When they are closer, then we can talk with them without having to shout, but still keep them at a safe distance. This is a comfortable distance for people who are standing in a group but maybe not talking directly with one another. People sitting in chairs or gathered in a room will tend to like this distance. Personal Zone : 1.5-4 feet (0.5m - 1.5m) In the personal zone, the conversation gets more direct, and this is a good distance for two people who are talking in earnest about something. Intimate Zone < 1.5 feet (< 0.5m) When a person is within arms reach or closer, then we can touch them in intimate ways. We can also see more detail of their body language and look them in they eyes. When they are closer, they also blot out other people so all we can see is them (and vice versa). Romance of all kinds happens in this space. Entering the intimate zone of somebody else can be very threatening. This is sometimes done as a deliberate ploy to give a non-verbal signal that they are powerful enough to invade your territory at will. Varying rules The rules about social distance vary with different groups of people. You can detect this by watching people's reactions. If you feel safe and they seem not to feel safe, back off. If they invade your space, decide whether to invade back or act otherwise. Turning sideways is an easy alternative for this, as a person to the side is less threatening than a person at the same distance in front of you. Town and country People who live in towns spend more time close to one another and so their social distances may compact somewhat. In a large and crowded city, the distances will be less than in a small town. People who normally live a long way from others will expand their social distances and may even have to lean over towards another person to shake hands and then back off to a safe distance. Different countries Different countries also have different rules about social distances. The overcrowded nature of some Asian countries means that they are accustomed to talking to others from a very close distance. Watch a Japanese person talking at a party with a person from the Western countryside. The Japanese will step in and the Westerner will step back. Speeded up it is like a dance around the room. See also Hall, E.T. (1966). The Hidden Dimension, New York: Doubleday

沟通风格 Hall (1976): Silent Languages 高情境的沟通 -信息和意义的交换不是由你说的内容、词汇和语句来决定的，而是由你表达的方式、手势、语调、语速等情境性的因素来决定的。高情境的意义沟通在很大程度上是间接的，表达的词汇和语句往往比较间接，而且很大程度上只是所要传递信息的很小一个部分，其余的部分必须依靠听众的理解和意会来加以补充。 低情境的沟通 – 沟通的方式是直接的、明确的，它的意义应该是直接由字面表达，听众不需要对背景和情境进行再加工，因为他们可以直截了当地从沟通者所说的、所用的词汇中理解对方的意思

课堂练习 试以你的方式來表达你喜欢某人。

判断沟通风格差异的指标 是否能推测到别人的意思 委婉的表达方式还是直接的表达方式 对人际关系的敏感程度 戏剧化的表达方式 利用自己的情感来指导行为 对辩论和对话的兴趣 对沉默的理解和对应 58

戴尔·卡内基 1、真诚地关心他人 2、微笑待人 3、牢记他人的名字 4、学会倾听他人讲话 5、迎合他人的兴趣 6、让他人感到自己重要

个人的影响力 影响的两种路径 (Petty & Cacioppo, 1986) 中央路径-通过对信息的观点、论据、证据、理论等的强调来达到影响的目的 边缘路径-不需要人们关注论据本身，而是关注那些不需要动脑经的线索 – 如形象，感觉，欲望等的强调来达到影响的目的

French和 Raven（1959）影响力的来源 奖赏的权力（Reward power） 压制的权力（Coercive power） 参照的权力（Referent power） 法定的权力（Legitimate power） 专家权力（Expert power） 信息的权力（Informational power）

如何可以叫你的同学“放血”？ 说服的技巧与原则 说理原则 （Reasons） 互惠原则 （Reciprocity） 奖惩原则 （Retaliate）

说理原则 通常是让别人明白“为什么”或者“是如何”通过接受说服的信息，来为自己的利益和价值服务。这种方式产生的效果比较长久也比较直接，但问题是比较费时。有的时候，沟通者的目标和利益不一定与听众的目标和利益相一致，因此说理也就不一定能够产生正面的效果 .

为什么说理有用 心理一致性原则 自我效能感 承诺规则 虚报低价技术, 登门槛的技术 ,

互惠原则 通过交换的方式来影响别人的行为，如给提供提供某种回报，而得到他们的承诺。这种影响技巧通常有比较小的反感，容易解释。但是有时候，这种行为的过分功利性，能影响人们的积极性，或者由于对社会规则的一些顾虑，人们不愿进行赤裸裸的社会交换。

为什么互惠有用 社会关系理论 （Fiske) 闭门羹的技术 折扣技巧

奖惩原则 依靠奖励、惩罚和威胁的作用，来说服别人遵守或者满足你所提出的要求。奖惩原则的心理学基础，实际上是两个理论，一个是行为主义的学习理论，另一个是社会学习理论。

影响成功的要素 个人的特质 （who): 信誉, 形象, 信息的质量 (what): 高，单一与全面 沟通的方式 （How）: 正面与负面 听众的特点（whom）: 个体和团体的差异 沟通的时机 （When）：快乐与忧愁

九点连线问题 如何用四条线将以下九点连接起来，但笔不能离开纸。 69 Sometimes, creativity is about breaking sets, or thinking “outside the box”. Have the students try this problem. Admit it’s tricky. Unlike most creativity problems, this one has only 1 (or maybe 2) correct responses. NEXT I WILL GO OVER SOME COMMONLY USED CREATIVITY MEASURES. 69 69

结语 “As I am, so I see” 我在故我视 ----Ralph Waldo Emerson (1984-1882), 美国著名哲学家