哀傷輔導工作坊 19/12/2009 prepared by Mok Ping Kan 香港神託會 社會服務部 哀傷輔導工作坊 19/12/2009 prepared by Mok Ping Kan

People’s painful experience Loss of health Loss of relationship Loss of job

People’s painful experience Loss of friends Loss of life Loss of autonomy

Psychological Fear Anger Guilt depress Uncontrollable helplessness Desperate Loneliness

What we do ? Clarification 澄 清 鼓勵受輔者接觸自己的真實感受及經驗。 避免干擾及分散注意 e.g. ‘Can you tell me more about this?’ 講俾我知多些關 於… Words that trail such as ‘and…’or ‘and then’ 跟縱性詞彙 : 同埋 / 或者 / 之後就 / 咁即係 e.g. 你可唔可以講俾我聽你唔開心Ｄ乜嘢呀？

Discretionary- allowing silence 容許沈默 / 安靜 讓案主表達內在經歷多於說話表達 輔導員不需負責保持自己或受輔者經常說話 有時侯不一定要有眼神交流，反而给予對方空間 當受輔者正在思考時，此時，沉默是最有用的工具

Passive - Empathy 同理心 Carl Rogers: ‘The ability to experience another person’s world as if it were one’s own, without losing the ‘as if’.’ 經歷對方的內心世界，猶如自己的遭遇，但不失本位。 Join the client + separate from the client’s experience 融入案主的內心世界及分清這是案主的經驗。

Validating 肯定 Validate his effort 功勞 / 努力 Validate the resource 資源 Validate the good motivation 良好動機 Validate and normalize the feeling 感覺是正常的 Validate his yearning 有渴求是可以的

What they need ? Accompany, pace Respect Security Care, Trustful

What they need (2) ? Sense of control Sense of successful Be acceptance Be understand

What they need ? (3) Sense of Self-worth Sense of Life-value Peace with Self , with others, and Spirit.

The dying and family members Death as punishment ? Death as transition ? Death as an organizer of time – time till death Death as a natural process

Meaning of Life 不枉此生 死亡亦是人生旅程的畢業禮 深表同情共感 心靈深處的相遇

For family members 生死分離，死者永別，迎接死亡 醒覺陪伴的需要 感激的需要 放手的需要 （尊重對方的意向）

Interviewing skills Prepare Yourself: Externally and internally in a grounded congruent place. Make contact and build rapport: Be accepting, open, non-judgmental and trustworthy.

Hear the presenting problem : Explore the impact problem in the person’s coping; Transform the problem into positively directional goal. Use process questions : Tap unmet expectation and yearnings; Tap resources to support make changes and life energy for healing.

一致三贏 Congruent self others context Self- do I feel O.K.? Other – How does she feel? context What is / is not appropriate ?

Congruence Be myself ? What is my feeling right now?

Learn through interaction 感受 feeling 觀念 perception 期望 expectation 感受 feeling 觀念perception 期望expectation 語言 情感

Helpful Not helpful 鬥 爭 competition 尊 重 respect 平 等 equality 澄 清 clarification 能 力 resources 選 擇 choices 過 程 process 成 長 growth 鬥 爭 competition 階 級 hierarchy 判 斷 judgment 問 題 problems 強 制 control 結 果 result 解 難 problem Solving

Home works: 認定你的存在為要做甚麼！ 要愛誰！及被誰所愛！ 學會受苦！