Ways of translating some sentence patterns Part II Ways of translating some sentence patterns

Passive voice Attributive clauses Adverbial clause

Passive voice English passive sentences are translated into Chinese active ones. English passive sentences are translated into Chinese passive ones with words of “遭受”or “被”. English passive sentences are translated into Chinese sentences with words of “把”,“由”or“让”.

A. English passive sentences are translated into Chinese active ones. 46. ‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ Harry began, but they were interrupted by Fred and George…(Book 3, Chapter 5) “我有事要告诉你。”哈利开口说，但弗雷德和乔治进来打断了他们……

47. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. (Book 1, Chapter 2) 姨父姨妈从来不提他们，当然也不准他问。

B. English passive sentences are translated into Chinese passive ones with words of “遭受”or “被”. 48. Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dursleys’ son, Dudley. (Book 2, Chapter 1) 哈利想反驳，但他的话被表哥达力一声又长又响的饱嗝淹没了。

49. Sir Cadogan had been sacked 49. Sir Cadogan had been sacked. His portrait had been taken back to its lonely landing on the seventh floor, and the Fat Lady was back. (Book 3, Chapter 14) 卡多根爵士遭到了解雇。他的肖像被放回七楼寂寞的楼梯平台那里去了，胖夫人回来了。

C. English passive sentences are translated into Chinese sentences with words of “把”,“由”or“让”. 50. They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise, he was locked in his room around the clock. (Book2, Chapter2) 他们每天早晚让哈利出来上厕所，其他时间都把他锁在屋里。

C. English passive sentences are translated into Chinese sentences with words of “把”,“由”or“让”. 51. ‘…And of course Potter has always been allowed an extraordinary amount of license by the headmaster.’ (Book3, Chapter21) “……当然，校长一贯让波特享有特别大的特权。”

52. So Harry had been brought up by his dead mother’s sister and her husband. (Book2, Chapter1) 所以，哈利是由她的姨妈和姨父养大的。

Attributive clauses There are three ways of treating attributive sentences. A. They are translated into attributive phrases with the word of “的”, placed in front of the nouns they modify. B. They are translated into isolated sentences, put behind the main clauses. C. They are mixed with the subjects of the main clauses in the translation.

A. They are translated into attributive phrases with the word of “的”, placed in front of the nouns they modify. 53. She was the only living creature in his house who didn’t flinch at the sight of him. (Book 3, Chapter 1) 它是这所房子里唯一看见他不会退缩的生物。

54. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead which was shaped like a bolt of lightning. (Book 1, Chapter 2) 哈利对自己的外表最喜欢的就是额头上那道像闪电似的淡淡的疤痕。

B. They are translated into isolated sentences, put behind the main clauses.   55. Mr Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. (Book 1, Chapter 1) 弗农•德思礼先生在一家名叫格朗宁的公司做主管，公司生产钻机。

56. Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom. (Book 2, Chapter 1) 达力提了提裤子，那裤子顺着他的胖屁股往下滑。

C. They are mixed with the subjects of the main clauses in the translation. 57. But Dumbledore, who was unsticking two sherbet lemons, seemed not to notice. (Book 1, Chapter 1) 可邓布利多在掰两块粘在一起的雪糕，似乎没有留意。

58. Harry, who was still playing the flute, waved at Ron to get his attention and pointed at himself. (Book 1, Chapter 16) 哈利一边在吹笛子，一边朝罗恩挥了挥手，引起他的注意，又用手指了指自己。

Adverbial clause Clauses of condition Clauses of purpose

Clauses of condition A large quantity of clauses of condition appears in Harry Potter, and most of them are led by the conjunction of “if”. The translators have used “如果”, “要是”, “只要”, “一旦” etc. to correspond with the conjunction of “if”. E.g.

59. If they won their next match against Hufflepuff, they would…(Book 1, Chapter 12) 如果他们赢得下场对赫奇帕奇的比赛，他们就能……

60. ‘You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day 60. ‘You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.’ Said Professor McGonagall. (Book 1, Chapter 1) “您要是在砖墙上坐一整天，您也会变僵的。”麦格教授说。

Clauses of condition 61. …But he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted. (Book 1, Chapter 2) ……他知道，只要他一哭丧着脸，嗷嗷地号叫，母亲就会满足他的任何要求。

62. They didn’t think they could bear it if anyone found out the Potters. (Book 1, Chapter 1) 他们想，一旦有人发现波特一家的事，他们会承受不住的。

Clauses of purpose Clauses of purpose can be translated into clauses with the word of “为了” mostly placed at the beginning of the sentences, clauses with the words with “免得” or “使” placed at the end of the sentences, and clauses without any conjunctions. e.g.

Clauses of purpose 63. To make Dudley feel better about it all, Aunt Petunia had insisted that the whole family follow the diet too. (Book 4, Chapter 3) 为了使达力情绪好一点儿，佩妮姨妈坚持要全家都遵循那个食谱。

64. …Madam Pomfrey took out her curtains again and placed them around Hermione’s bed, to spare her the shame of being seen with a furry face. (Book 2, Chapter 13) 庞弗雷夫人不得不再次取出她的布帘子，挂在赫敏的病床周围，不让别人看见她毛茸茸的脸，免得她感到羞愧难当。

Clauses of purpose 65. ‘Try and get it out,’ Ron whispered, shifting his chair so that he blocked Harry from Madam Pomfrey’s view. (Book 2, Chapter 16) “把它取出来。”罗恩小声说，一边把椅子挪了一下，挡住庞弗雷夫人的视线，使她看不见哈利。

66. Harry leaned forward and spoke quietly, so that only Ginny and Ron could hear him. (Book 2, Chapter 16) 哈利凑上前去，把声音压得很低，只有金妮和罗恩能够听见。

Mistranslation and translation neglected Part III Mistranslation and translation neglected

Mistranslation Translation neglected

Mistranslation Several errors in translation have been found in the Chinese version of Harry Potter. Possibly under the huge pressure of a publishing deadline, the Chinese translators have limited time to read the original English version carefully and have little time to check their work, so that they mistranslated some words and sentences. Such mistranslation will be illustrated as follows and the errors in translation will be corrected.

Mistranslation Mistranslating words Mistranslating sentences

Mistranslating words 1. Mistranslating the word of “cupboard” When Harry was growing up with the Dursleys, he had to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs, along with many spiders. The Chinese version translated Harry’s cupboard as “碗柜”, meaning ‘bowl cabinet’. But I don’t agree with such translation. Here is the evidence in the English version:

That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he’d never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard. ‘Where’s my letter?’ said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. (Book 1, Chapter 3)

Here we know that Harry’s uncle visited his cupboard one day Here we know that Harry’s uncle visited his cupboard one day. I wander if the room of a “碗柜” was big enough for Harry and even his uncle. Obviously, such translation of cupboard is not appropriate. From Macmillan English Dictionary, we can find that a cupboard refers to a closet in British English. Also, from the movie of Harry Potter, one can see the place where Harry sleep is not a “碗柜” at all, but a closet under the stairs. Consequently, we had better translate ‘the cupboard under the stairs’ into “楼梯下的储藏室”.

2. (The English version) Mr Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him 2. (The English version) Mr Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it. (Book 1, Chapter 1) (原译文) 他突然停下脚步，恐惧万分。他回头朝窃窃私语的人群看了一眼，似乎想听他们说点什么，后来又改变了主意。 (修改) ……似乎想对他们说点什么……

2.      The sorting hat sang: ‘Oh, you may not think I’m pretty But don’t judge on what you see, I’ll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me …… Or perhaps in Slytherin You’ll make your real friends, Those cunning folks use any means To achieve their ends…’(Book 1, Ch. 7)

（原译文） “你们也许觉得我不算漂亮， 但千万不要以貌取人， 如果你们能找到比我更漂亮的帽子， 我可以把自己吃掉。 …… 也许你会进斯莱特林， 也许你在这里交上真诚的朋友， 但那些狡诈阴险之辈却会不惜一切手段 达到他们的目的。”

（修改） …… 如果你们能找到比我更聪明的帽子 也许你会进斯莱特林， 在这里你会交上真诚的朋友， 那些足智多谋的少年们会尽一切努力 实现自己的报复。  

（Explanation） The sorting hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty, so it was not pretty at all. But it was smart and clever because it could judge which school one belonged in. So ‘smart’ was mistranslated. Then the translator translated the sentences about Slytherin with personal bias. Instead, the tone of the sorting hat should be just. Maybe no new students want to go into Slytherin if they got what the translator meant.

4. …Because if any of the Dursley heard the scratching of his quill on their way to the bathroom, he’d probably find himself locked in the cupboard under the stairs for the rest of the summer. (Book 3,Chapter 1) （原译文）……因为如果德思礼家的人去洗手间的路上听到了它的羽毛笔写字的声音，这整个夏天他就有可能要被他们锁在楼梯下面的碗柜里。 （修改）……在剩下的假期里……

5. (The English version) Their Seeker, Cho Chang, was the only girl in their team. She was shorter than Harry by about a head, and Harry couldn’t help noticing, nervous as he was, that she was extremely pretty. She smiled at Harry as the teams faced each other behind their captains, and he felt a slight jolt in the region of his stomach that he didn’t think had anything to do with nerves. (Book 3, Chapter 13)

（原译文）两支球队面对面站在各自的队长身后的时候，她对哈利微微一笑，哈利的心一阵跳动，他认为这和神经没有什么关系。 （修改）……他认为这和紧张没什么关系。

（Explanation） Facing an important match, Harry was nervous. But when he saw Cho Chang, who had left a good impression to Harry, he felt a slight jolt in his stomach. This feeling had nothing to do with his nerves caused by the match. 

6. Three quarters of the crowd wearing scarlet rosettes, waving… (Book 3, Chapter 15) （原译文）四分之三的人群佩怴着猩红色的玫瑰花，摇着…… （修改）四分之三的人群佩戴着猩红色的玫瑰花结，摇着……

7. His eyes fell on a wooden chair near them 7. His eyes fell on a wooden chair near them. Large chunks had been torn out of it; one of legs had been ripped off entirely. (Book 3, Chapter 17) （原译文）……椅子上扯去了一大块木板…… （修改）……椅子上扯去了几大块木板……

8. ‘Where is Nagini (the name of a snake)?’ ‘I – I don’t know, my lord,’ said the first voice nervously. ‘She set out to explore the house, I think…’ ‘You will milk her before we retire, wormtail,’ said the second voice. ‘I will need feeding in the night. The journey has tired me greatly.’ (Book 4, Chapter 1)

（原译文）“我们睡觉前，你再喂它一次牛奶，虫尾巴。”第二个声音说，“我夜里还需要吃一顿。这一路上可把我累坏了。” （修改）“我们睡觉前，你再给它挤一次毒汁，虫尾巴。”

(Explanation）From Oxford Advanced Learner’s English-Chinese Dictionary, ‘milk’ has a meaning of drawing venom from a snake. Actually, the snake’s venom is the content of Voldemort’s life-giving diet. So it is ridiculous to translate ‘milk’ in the translator’s way.

Mistranslating sentences 9. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. (Book 1, Chapter 1) （原译文）一想到邻居们会说波特夫妇来到了，德思礼夫妇会吓得胆战心惊。 （修改）一想到邻居们会对波特夫妇的到来说三道四，德思礼夫妇会吓得胆战心惊。

10. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. (Book 1, Chapter 1) （原译文）他也没有发现有人监视他，因为他突然抬头看见一直再借那头注视着他的那只猫。 （修改）但他好像已经意识到有人在监视他，因为他突然抬起了头，对视着一直在街那头盯着他的那只猫。

amigo: friend (Sp.) 11. As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, ‘Brazil, here I come…Thanksss, amigo.’ (Book 1, Chapter 2) （原译文）当蟒蛇溜过哈利身旁时，哈利清清楚楚地听到一个嘶嘶的声音说：“我是从巴西来到这里的……谢谢，我走了。” （修改）……“我要去巴西了……谢谢，我走了。 

12. ‘Follow me,’ said Snape. Not daring even to look at each other, Harry and Ron followed Snape up the steps into the vast, echoing Entrance Hall, which was lit with flaming torches. (Book 2, Chapter 5) （原译文）哈利和罗恩都不敢看他（斯内普），跟着斯内普登上台阶，走进…… （修改）哈利和罗恩甚至不敢对视一下，就跟着斯内普登上台阶，走进……

13. He was a very short man, hardly taller than Harry and Hermione 13. He was a very short man, hardly taller than Harry and Hermione. (Book 3, Chapter 19) （原译文）这人很矮，比哈利和赫敏高不了多少。 （修改）这人很矮，还没有哈利和赫敏高。

14. ‘Do you know, Harry, I think she might have been 14. ‘Do you know, Harry, I think she might have been. Who’d have thought it? That brings her total of real predictions up to two. I should offer her a pay rise…’(Book 3, Chapter 22) （原译文）“你知道哈利，我认为也许是，”他深沉地说，“谁会想到这件事呢？这把她真正预言的能力提高到二级水平了。我应该给他加工资……” （修改）……这是她所做出的第二个真正的预言……

15. Couldn’t someone have put Harry’s name in the Goblet as a trick, a practical joke? Did anyone really want him dead? Harry was able to answer that at once. Yes, someone wanted him dead… (Book 4, Chapter 17) （原译文）哈利无法立刻回答这个问题。 （修改）哈利立刻就能回答这个问题。

16. Mr Weasley marched Harry across the short stretch of pavement towards the first of two old-fashioned dark green cars, each of which was driven by a furtive-looking wizard, wearing a suit of emerald velvet. (Book 3, Chapter 5) （原译文）韦斯莱先生强迫哈利穿过短短的一段人行道，走向第一辆车，这两辆车都是老式的深绿色汽车，开第一辆车的是个身穿艳绿色天鹅绒西服、神色狡猾的男巫。 （修改）……这两辆车都是老式的深绿色汽车，开车的各是一个身穿艳绿色天鹅绒西服、神色狡猾的男巫。

Translation neglected Here, some sentences the translators did not translate due to their carelessness will be listed as follows and they will be translated as well, according to the context.

17. …And she didn’t seem quite as fond of them as before 17. …And she didn’t seem quite as fond of them as before. (Book 1, Chapter 3) 而且她也不像以前那样喜欢它们（猫）了。 18. ‘Wood’s captain of the Gryffindor team.’ Professor McGonagall explained. (Book 1, Chapter 9) “伍德是格兰芬多队的队长，”麦格教授解释说 。

19. Harry stared from his purple-faced uncle to his pale aunt, who was trying to heave Dudley to his feet. (Book 2, Chapter 1) 哈利看了看气得脸色发青的弗农姨父，又看了看吓得一脸苍白、正在用力扶达力站起来的佩妮姨妈。

20. They looked at each other and started to laugh; for a long time, they couldn’t stop. (Book 2, Chapter 5) 他们互相看着对方，然后俩人开怀大笑起来；很长一段时间里，他们止不了笑。

21. ‘Do something about your hair 21. ‘Do something about your hair!’ Aunt Petunia snapped as he reached the hall. (Book 3, Chapter 2) “把你的头发弄平！”哈利刚踏进大厅，佩妮姨妈突然尖叫道.

22. ‘Severns-’ Lupin began, but Snape overrode him. ‘I’ve told the Headmaster again and again that you’ve been helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here’s the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout-’ (Book 3, Chapter 19) “西弗勒斯-”卢平刚想张嘴，但是斯内普抢过话头。 “我曾再三叮嘱校长，说你--卢平，一直在帮着你的老朋友布莱克潜入城堡中。看吧，这就是证据！但我甚至连作梦都想不到你竟胆敢窝藏在这个老地方。”  

Thank you!